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Don't look at me...i'm not good for anyone...not good for the world...
not good for anything...

tonight, i talked to my ex on gaia that broke up with me a year ago...everytime i hear that voice, i just want to grab a knife and throw it at them. i didn't want to hear it, i didn't want to hear, "i still care and love you", and i don't want her in my life...Just want her to get out and stay out...stay out so that i don't remember her and forget her...let her die in a river and be cut and bruised by sharp rocks at the bottom and let the world know that i hate...People that care...SORRY...is NOT...enough. It never is, will, and won't be. Can't describe the pain I'm in now...

Pain...not something you want to feel everyday. That's the opposite with me...I feel it from the inside, telling me to let it out...unleash the animal that's inside me.......forget what friends i had...Sometimes, i think the pain is right. Just let it go...throw it away...never to see it again...never to be reminded of it...never to be triumphed with. But, when you hear something or be reminded of something that means the world to you...for me, i don't care about it...pain is all that i feel... Hearing her voice pains me...hearing "I care for you", "I love you", pains me...nothing...nothing will relieve me of this. I can't escape it...i can never run away...i can never get away from all that's happened. All i can do...is just stay with the pain...and a new feeling has emerged from it..........Anger.