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No Wonder Women are so Misled |
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So, I was in the bookstore the other day and curiously reading one of those relationship books because I had nothing better to do and they're sometimes akin to smut romance novels in my mind. (They're often not worth very much. They're extremely subjective and specific situation oriented.)
But I read this book that claimed to be the answer to everything. The girl who wrote the book was painfully attractive, had an advanced degree in journalism, and purportedly did all of her own research talking to single men to learn how they worked so that she could allegedly teach women how to behave in such ways that men would want to marry them.
I found it disturbing. But what I found most disturbing was one of her rules of thumb. (One of 66 rules I can only assume are as equally misguided as the four I read before putting the book down in disgust.)
One of her rules was to never admit to having more than 5 sexual partners. And, in her phrasing, "men can't handle it." She says that if you, a woman, admit to having more than 5 sexual partners any man you admit it to won't be able to handle that. So she says that if you've had more than 5 sexual partners you should lie to him. Actively lie to him about how many people you have slept with.
I consider this to be an intimate piece of conversation to be having with someone you intend to date long-term. At some point I think you probably need to know how many people your partner has slept with and just accept that about them that you liked them just the way they were before you knew that and it doesn't change who they are now that you do know that. Not being able to accept a sexually active woman sounds like a little boy from high school. But that's me, and I was brought up on my mother's feminist ideals (handed down to her by my grandmother who was actively feminist in that she believed in educating women but not men because men could fend for themselves without it).
So what I'm asking is for you guys to tell ME if this is true or not. Do you honestly think that if you were looking at dating a girl for a long-term relationship that if she had over 5 lovers in the past (defining that however you wish, from one-night-stand to long term relationships), would it bother you?
Reading beyond this point is purely optional! (As if the first part wasn't.) ----------- Some of her other helpful hints were... * To be vague at all times, don't talk to him on the phone for very long, always pretend that you're busy with something else and that he's not your priority and, best of all, forget dates and anniversaries. This will make him "know" that he's not the most important thing to you and he'll love you for it. It's the "let him chase you" theory. Where in that women are told that if she's too easy to catch that men will be bored with her.
* Another hint is that men aren't bright creatures and they're all basically the same. So all of these tricks work on all men at all times.
*Always look dressed up. (This one I agree with. You should always dress up for your man for a date. 'Cause if you're wearing sweats and flip flops to a date... trust me, the fire has gone out. I always dress and clean up, at least. It shows you care what you look/smell like to him. But she meant it ALL THE TIME. And I don't know any men who honestly want a high maintenance woman who can't let her hair down.)
* Lie to him about where you're going. Basically if you're on your period and just staying home watching movies tell him you're going out with your friends to have a great time. More of this beating it into him that he's NOT the most important thing. While I don't believe in smothering people with affection, or co dependency, it's the stressing on lying to him all the time that bothers me.
*And my other favorite.... If you have a dysfunctional relationship with your family, don't tell him until at least 6 months into the relationship.
*And my biggest favorite besides the one about sexual partners, her stressing that you should never admit mental problems, bulimia, being molested by your step father, etc. until AFTER you have a ring on your finger. And guys, I KNOW you're not into this one. The last thing you want is to propose to a girl and all the sudden you find out she spent two years in an asylum for self-destructive lunacy. Am I right? But she advocates not telling him anything about ******** up families or personal problems until after he's proposed (to this woman he barely knows but thinks he does). That's just dirty pool. D:
ZygoteLegion · Sun Jan 04, 2009 @ 06:56pm · 0 Comments |
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