I am such a ridiculous goober.
Last night Brad and I were laying around about to fall asleep in bed. And since it was Valentine's Day we were being all in love, like we are. And he was going on telling me how much he loved me, and told me he loved me more than anything he knows and that he was a very lucky man. This was an extremely sweet thing to say, and being the emotional goober I am, I told him if he kept talking like that he was going to make me cry. He laughed and said "Well, I don't want that."
So we kept talking and I asked him how I was so lucky to end up with a person as amazing as he is. And he replied "You were you." I asked what that even meant, since I have no idea what that meant. And he said, "You were just you. I had to fall in love with you."
At that point, I pretty much lost it. I started crying, and leaned over and hugged him and basically just cried and tried to pull myself back together. Fortunetly he laughed, and hugged me and let me curl up next to him while I got myself back together. He just let me lay there with my headed resting on his chest and stroked my hair while I sniffled.
I explained to him it was just that I loved him so much and I wasn't exactly sure why I was crying and apoligized for being so ridiculous. He kept telling me it was okay, and it was fine.
And I think a big reason this happened was because a lot of old memories cam rushing back as we had this conversation. I spent most of high school thinking a relationship like the one I had with Thomas was as good as it got. I never realized how much he walked all over me or treated me like crap. He was very good to me at times, yes, but I completely gnored the unhealthy parts of our relationship and just accepted that that's how life would be.
So when I hear this from a wonderful, wonderful person who treats me well, takes care of me, and loves me even when I'm being a little crazy or irrational, there's nothing for me to do but cry. I've finally found something I didn't even think existed.
It was a really, really wonderful moment, even though I felt completely stupid. I just realized in that moment how lucky I was to have met this amazing wonderful guy who loves me so much, and treats me so well. I really love him so, so, so much and I am so increadible lucky. He is one of the best things that has ever happened to me and I'm increadibly lucky, even if I act like a total goober and start crying when he tells me how much he loves me.
♥
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