Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I have had 3 internet boyfriends in the 5 or 6 years I have been using the internet.

The first I met on EverQuest . He was perfect for me, or I thought so at the time. He treated me right, was always making sure I was happy and nothing was wrong. Well, a few months after dating him he told me he loved me and I told him I loved him too. He was my first true love. Anyway, a few months after he told me he loved me he asked me to marry him on the game we played, and of course I said yes. We were married on the game for 2 years and then my parents found out about him and told me not to talk to him anymore. Well, I loved him so much so I thought risking my parents trust was worth being with him. I kept talking to him and then a few months after I went through hell with my parents he told me about a new girl he was dating. I found out that during the 4 years we were together he was cheating on me for 2 of them. I was crushed. I still love him to this day, but I am able to date other people now.

The second guy I dated I met on EverQuest as well. He was a goofy guy, which is why I liked him. He could make me laugh and make me happy which was all I was looking for at the time. This relationship only lasted a few months, but I still fell in love with him. He also cheated on me.

The relationship I am currently in is with a guy I met on EverQuest as well. We don't play EQ anymore, but we talk to each other on Yahoo! messenger. Well, I started dating him last May, but I have known him for 6 years. One reason that attracted me to him was his sweet personality. He helped me get through the tough times with the first guy I was with. Anyway, I fell in love with him month after being with him because I realized how great he was. He has some problems with life, but those are the things I accept about him. You have to take the good with the bad right? Anyway, I love him with all my heart, and we have been planning on getting together when he graduates this year. He lives in Oregon and I live in Colorado, so we aren't that far apart. Well, everything was going great until the other night when I read his account on myspace. He had a "blog" that was written about a girl he had been dating in May as well. She was his real life girlfriend and I was just his internet girlfriend. Anyway, I am currently trying to hold back my tears so I can have a civilized conversation with him and try to show him how much I love him. I just want him to be happy and if that is with her than I am just going to have to deal with it.

If anyone has any suggestions on how I can keep Zack in my life then pm me please. I have been having problems with understanding what my heart feels. I just know that right now it hurts so much because knowing that he had another girl broke it. I want to be able to reach way down deep into my heart and be able to tell him my true feelings.