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Megumi isn't stupid -- Gackt x Hyde |
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Megumi isn't stupid. People write her off as air-headed or dumb because she's a model, because she's married to a rock star, because she's pretty and nice and polite.
But she's not. Stupid, that is. For instance, she knows that Hyde is having an affair with Gackt. She has known since the first time he came home with bruises on his neck and the stench of sex laced with expensive cologne clinging to him. He had ******** her savagely, viciously, as if he was trying to forget. When he came, the name on his lips wasn't hers.
Megumi couldn't quite walk right the next morning. No one noticed, though, because she smiled brightly as she did every day.
When Hyde calls home to tell her he'll be late because he's working at the studio, Megumi knows that he's with Gackt. She can always tell when he's lying; his speech becomes hesitant, halting, as if he's trying to avoid the sound of her voice.
But it's okay. It's okay that he's doing this because it's just a phase. Belated experimentation, if you will. Once Hyde realizes that, he'll come home to her and their baby. Besides, what he has with Gackt is just sex. Megumi forgives him for everything that he has done and will do because that's all it is --sex.
What she has with him will never be replaced by some smooth-talking, mysteriously beautiful man. It is love, pure and simple. This is what keeps her smiling through the pitying whispers and the late nights alone and raising the baby without him.
So Megumi is courteous to Gackt when he visits. She offers him tea and makes polite, stilted conversation with him. She pretends not to notice when Hyde stops kissing her. She says nothing when he stops making love to her. She continues smiling when he stops touching her.
Absently, Megumi thinks that a smile is truly a wondrous thing. It's different from apathy, which is a harder mask to put on. People are afraid of apathy, of it's coldness. But a smile covers just as well, and no one suspects what lies beneath because it speaks of happiness.
In truth, it has been months and months since this ridiculous phase of Hyde's started. She's tired of pretending. Sometimes, frustration washes over her in waves and she wants to scream.
But she smiles instead.
One day, she will not be able to take it. She will shatter and fall apart, like a string of glass beads click click click onto the floor, and she will kill herself with her smiles.
Megumi doesn't know that, though. She lives in a fantasy world where Hyde and her and the baby are the perfect family. She sees them glowing with joy, framed by twisted silver.
x_ HYDE away · Sat Nov 19, 2005 @ 05:53pm · 3 Comments |
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