My Resolve,
I've never really taken much thought into what I wanted to accomplish in the military. I always just thought of joining out of boredom when I was in high school up to now. The drive from my closest friends, there and back, made me think about why I joined. having talked to my fiancee last night also had me thinking about why I joined. I didn't join out of boredom, or for the money, or in hopes to become famous for being heroic. My personality doesn't suit any of those. I joined for something much, much more fulfilling I suppose you can call it. My resolve for joining is to protect everyone close to me. I've though I don't fit that category very because I've come to the fact that I have an issue when it comes down to being brave.
I joined to keep my friends safe so they wouldn't have to join, when I think back to when I was asking my friends to join so i could get money out of it, that wasn't really me. I wouldn't ask my friends to join, why would I want to put my friends in harms way when I'm already there? I know Im not a very good shield, but for my friends, fiancee, and family. I'll be the best shield and lance there is.
When I think about leaving this next monday to start training, I start getting scared. I ask myself why, and its because of the unknown, I don't know whats going to happen. I've only heard whats happened through other people from my unit that've been to Iraq. I'm scared that when I come back, I won't have my love. Im scared of not having my friends acceptance because I 'had' to kill some people. Im scared of having my childish innocence taken away from me by being exposed to blood and death. I'm afraid to lose my life.
So, I've finally come to realize why I joined. Not for money, not for honor, not for respect, or anything that corrupts us humans. I joined for the people that respect us, that can't join but want to, I joined to protect my future wife and family that comes with marrying her in the future, I joined to protect what I call home.
My wish to God,
My only wish I truely have, and want granted by God if it's possible,
Is to come home safely, with everyone that's leaving with me. To keep myself from being over taken by the corrupt world and return safely into the arms of my friends and lover. That's my wish
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