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i had a dream but i didn't know why i dreamt it.....i didn't like it. it was a nightmare...it was actually kinda of nice. but it had him in it. you know the third guy from the other entry. you know the one i "loved" for along time. yeah he was in there and well the dream it felt so real... and during the dream he was trying so hard for me to forgive him. i cried when i woke up. the dream was kinda hazy because i don't really remebr it since it happen on i think tuesday sweatdrop ...but i need to get this off my mind. so i'm going to write about it. okay in the dream i was living at the dorm and i was in some kind of colledge and something happen with the rooms and i end up sharing it with a guy and that guy was him. he came in the room and

he was like "ellena"

i was like eek wtf how did he get in here. and he walk up to me hugging me and i was so confused, i push him away and said "what are you doing?" and he said "hugging you". i was like "stay away, stare i'll stay with you in this dorm but don't hink just because i live with you, doesn't mean i'm going to go out with you. i forgive you and all but don't look for a second chance."

but during the rest of the dream he was trying to get my attention and trying to give him a second chance.but i'll just ignore him. he will give me flowers and balloons and stuff like that and then one day. i was starving and he gave me doritos and apple juice. and he was like "here, don't want you to pass out right?" and he smiled at me and i smiled back. and we talk but i don't remeber about what though.

but he just started laughing i was like neutral "what so funny?"and he just said "you". i was confuse @.@. but he just said nothing but he went behind me.

i was like stare "what are you doing?" and then he hug me from behind. i was completey shock that the only thing that came out of my mouth was a gasp. and he said "i found it funny because you wouldn't talk to me after i give flowers and other stuff. but you talk to me when i give you doritos out of all things" he chuckle a little more. and i smiled and lean back against him and said "well they say that the way to a guys heart is through his stomach, right? but that works for some girls to" and i laugh with him. and that when i woke up. and i woke up and i remeber the dream and i cried. i was angry at myself i can't believe i was thinking about that guy. well neway i trying to get rid of my fear......but it going to be so hard for me. i don't want to fall in love with the wrong guy and get hurt agian. but i don't want to be on my own either but i'm so scared. but i'll tell ya something......if i ever fall in love...he must me one hell of a guy. the guy i'll be looking for has to really show me if this so call "love" really exist. i looking for someone who is realiable, because my dad has never really been there and hardly ever here. and well i need someone who will be there when i need someone the most. I mean no one wants the person you care abandon you, you know. someone i can trust and tell him everything, and loyal. he could be allright looking, and caring. i like it when they act possessive i think it kind of cute, but not so possessive that i wouldn't talk to my guy friend sweatdrop . and some one who will understand me and have alot of patients because i can be really childish sometimes sweatdrop and stuff like that. but i'm not saying that he has to be perfect because no one is perfect sweatdrop well i doubt this guy ever exist. but if he does he will probably be taken lol. well thank god i got this off my mind, i'm not crying anymore xd well cya