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do you know how much it hurts me?
how it kills me inside
when you're not around.
when you acknowledge
none of my victories
but point out all of my mistakes.
when it seems like
you don't care.
it's like there's
more important things in your life.
like i'm not
nice enough,
pretty enough,
smart enough.
maybe i'm not the perfect one
you've always wanted.
but if you expect
everyone to be everything
you've always wanted,
without flaws,
without mistakes,
you will constantly be disappointed.
do you ever see this pain
that your high expectations
cause me?
do you see it
seeping through my eyes
in the form of tears?
or flowing from my wrist,
drowning the floor
in blood?
no. nobody does.
nobody understands
the pain you make me feel.
you never see it
because everyday all you
ever get to see
are my fake smile,
my fake laughs.
but every time i fake it,
another little piece of me dies.
because you can't look into my eyes
and see all this hurt.
all this nothingness that makes me
who i am.
but i guess you will never realize
that you are killing me.
you are the cause of all my pain.
i'll just take all your beatings
and tell myself
that this is the only way
that you know how to shows love.
this torture to my feelings
and my heart,
they mean nothing to you.
and maybe they never will.