So... I had my eighteenth birthday just this past friday, on the fifth of June. I've officially, or at least age wise, have reached adulthood. I've felt like I've been an adult for much longer though. I've taken care of people for most of my life- myself included though some would argue that I take better care of others than I do my own needs. It's probably true, in fact, I'm almost sure it is. I still do it a lot. I'm almost done with high school. I've got one more semester to finish and then it's all over and I can move on to college. I got contacted by Juliard a few months ago. I might go there. I never applied. I didn't know I could, but my teacher and my principal seems to think I should go there. I don't know. I never thought it possible for me to go there. I never thought I would be offered a scholarship either, to any college, but I got one, simply because I have really good test scores. I've been thinking though. Do I really want to move thousands of miles from my friends and family to be able to go to a college that, I'm not even sure I want to go to? Do I abandon my little sister, who is more important to me than anything in the world, to pursue something that isn't a guarentee that I can do? She's nine years old this year. Exactly half my age. I can remember when she was no bigger than a breadloaf and her favorite thing to do was sit in my lap and watch the butterflies in the garden, or look for worms under my rosebushes. She's always been the best family I've had, even if she gets on my nerves. I'm sure I get on hers. My best friend actually thinks that when I get my own place, I could fight my father for custody, since her mother died, and he kind of... ignores her. I think I might, when I get my own place, and it's stable. I don't know. I don't think I would if it would make her unhappy. Which brings me back to college. Do I go somewhere else, where I can't take care of her and my grandmother, simply because it's something I might want, or do I stay close and go to a community college until I know for sure what career I plan to explore? I know part of being an adult is making your own decisions, but sometimes I wish someone could make this decision for me. sweatdrop At least my friends know what they'd like to do when they "Grow up" lol. And they'll all be wonderful at it. Especially my best friend. She's great at almost everything she does.
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