Day I:
After leaving a secret compartment a few days ago, I decided to publish my thoughts on the safest place I could think of, where no milkman or stacy would think to find it. That place is here. And so today is the first entry in a long, tedius journal. I suppose I will take this day to introduce myself: I am a person who can not say much about myself, except that you probably know me, just not my name. Perhaps you know me as a certain youtube spider. At any rate, I shall tell of todays events, now that my introduction is out of the way. I can't say that you'll enjoy it.
Today has been filled with the bizzar: From the time I woke up to about 47 seconds ago, I have been dealing with wet floors, a flea market, and an army of pork. Non-stop. It almost makes me want to hit a child. But if I did half of what I say, the world would be full of bloody faces and irritated mothers (Did you hear that, officer? You won't find any plans here!) Also, the death of billy mays has shaken up quite a few people in the area, and the shamwow man is suspected. Alas, we will never see Billy mays go through a drive through again. Well, it's best if I leave now, as I can feel a revolver in my back. Until the next entry, farewell.
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Nick M.
-CEO and co-founder
Nick M.