well i havent posted here is a few days... well i still love athena... but that is why i am writing in here today... AM I IN LOVE WITH HER IN PERSON OR OVER THE INTERNET??? when i talk to her over the internet... i am not afraid to tell her i love her... and she seems to be so filled with emoticons... she is easy to talk to... and she tells me she loves me... at school it seems like she is avoiding me sometimes... she seems emoticonless... it is hard to talk to her because she dose not wanna seem to talk... and i wanna tell her i love her in person... but if i do tell her and she dose not telll me back it is really gonna hurt...... just the other day i got her flowers... i did on friday and cuz she had s**t to do the day before... and after i did she walked off with magen... " i get to magen in a little bit..."... and she diden't come back... and she wasen't at where we hang out at lunch... i found out she was at the ROTC room... since i had to interducs my friend to another friend... i went down there i diden't see her but i know she was there i saw the flowers i bought her... so after my friend ryan almost get in a fight... i saw that she was not holding the all the flowers... but she had some of the flowers... and she seemed like she diden't wanna talk... ... i keep feeling like i am losing her... i really do love her... i really wanna be with her... i want to sit with her hold her in my arms and tell her i love her all day and night... i coulden't stop thinking about her... and i was tring hard not to cry cuz of the thought...... going off that subject before i make my self dry... " yes men do cry "... magen has been a b***h more then she usely is... i got really pissed at her the other day... i am the kinda person that if i am yalled at anough i'll cry cuz i can't really handal getting yalled... so she was yalling at me for what reason she had to " i don't know"... and i tolled her " bye, i don't wanna get yalled at again" and i walked away... and of corse she tryed her sweet and sorry voice... that dose not work anymore and it wont... it is bullshit... she says she is a nice person and then she yalls at me... after that she will be like " alex... please stay i am sorry" then she will give me a hug and then she will make fun of me... it really pisses me off... so now is she back to her sluty ways i guess... mat my frined broke up with my friend rachel... and since mat started hangen out with us she ownt get off him... and she tells me mat is gonna take my verginity cuz he said he has the gental touch... bull s**t... he says that to ******** her... going off that subject before i go and kill some one......well today was ok i got to go to six flags today... but after we left i slept on the bus for five minets and then when i woke up i almost passed out cuz of the head ake i had... i cried in macdonels... and on the bus ride home... but i got some medisen from my friend... so i am better now... all of my friends were worid about me and it mad me sad that i was makeing them worie about me...... well to wrap this all up i just wanna say...... athena i love you very much and i am woried about you losing your love for me... and i know you don't wanna hurt me... but how i am feeling now is hurting me very much... and i can really understand about magen might passing her s**t tendicys to you... but if i were you i would not let her do that... i love you so much athena... and i really hope you love me like you have said... i am not mad at you... i love you...... i can't think of anything more to say... later journal...
nightmares_child Community Member 
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