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I got an 82 on my Chemistry exam. yay.



but I got a 58 on my US History one.....



Mr. Vrieze will see that grade, and my failing history grade for the semester, because its not looking too bright for me....



I'll most likely have to quit either Jazz Band and/or Guard once my mom see's it....



It makes me sick and want to cry just thinking how in a span of 2 hours, my whole life got stripped away from me, and now I feel.....empty.....



I hate that feeling....I hate feeling incomplete.....I hate thinking about how I may not be able to continue the things I'm actually good at, and how that I won't be able to go back until next year.



I hate feeling like I've failed not only as a student, but as a co-captain as well, because they(the guard) chose me to be their leader out of about 5 or so to choose from, they chose me, because they know they can depend on me. So many people have already dropped out due to lack of cooperation or not enough time or family issues or because they're moving, but I'd hate to have to stand on that podeum to tell them, my 2nd family, that I have to leave.



I hate knowing that Thursday may be my last Jazz rehersal, or Friday may be my last Guard practice, all because I failed as a student. Its a shitty reality check, and I just want to go back to my fantasy of where I'm passing everything to meet my standards and my mom's standards and not having a care in the world about having to quit the things I love.



On another note, Mrs. Moreno called my mom about how I looked upset in Art today, and also about Maxine's comment on "Just think of it this way, you won't have to see Mrs. Moreno for the rest of the week." Joys await me next week, someone shoot me now.