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I wish I could start screaming right now so that maybe that way I can let the pain inside me, and the emptiness feeling to fly away. I cannot ignore this anxiety, and it is because I am leaving.

I have been here in Canada for 6 months long, and even if I am going back home for only one month, I already am feeling dead. I don't want to go back to a place that doesn't has much to offer me, which kills me with boredom and loneliness. I want to be here because I want to be by his side, and only his side.

I've felt freedom, peace, love, pain... So many emotions... I don't wanna leave them behind. I wanna stay. Why were we so late for everything?. Why did we always forget to do things on time?. I just want to stay, and continue living by his side... What is so bad about that?.

Just somebody help me so that I can open up my chest and let the pain fly away. Somebody let me scream out loud, and let me cry with all my strength until I fall on my knees. I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE!!