Warning: For any Twilight fans who find people talking anti-twilight offensive, DON'T READ THIS, AND DON'T LEAVE ANGRY COMMENTS.
"OMG, Twilight is like, the bestest book ever!!!!1!!!!"
If you came here to read about how great of a book Twilight is, you've come to the wrong place. This is Mouse saying, "I'm for team, TWILIGHT SUCKS.
You wanna know why it sucks? I'll give you one reason why it's the worst book I've ever read, for every letter of the alphabet.
A. Bella only ever talks about how perfect her 'Eddy-kins' is.
B. A summery of the books would basically be, "OMG! Bella fell in love with a sparkling gaytard. Then they got married and had a kid that almost killed them, and named it the most retarded name in the world! Now the world is all happy rainbow sunshine for everyone! THE END
C. Edward is a stalker. Don't deny it. He watches Bella sleep.
D. Bella has no emotion and is a Mary-Sue.
E. Jacob is not a werewolf, and even saying that he is a disgrace to werewolves.
F. Bella can't walk without nearly killing herself.
G. The girl doesn't always need saved, Edward. Thanks for setting back feminism, b*****d,
H. Edward is a one hundred year old virgin.
I. No one friggin ages in that book.
J. Bella isn't afraid of Edward, who is sparkly and wants to kill her.
K. Jacob can only think about Bella, naked.
L. Jacob fell in love with a newborn baby and forgot all about Bella.
M. Renesmee is the only aging person, and she ages super fast and will be older than her mom for eternity.
N. WHO THE HELL NAMES THEIR KID RENESMEE?!?!
O. In the last book, there isn't even a battle. Way to have the worst climax in the history of forever.
P. Bella and Edward are instantly in love. Real life isn't like that. Sorry SMeyer, not even close.
Q. Every f-ing boy in the story falls in love with Bella the moment they see her.
R. Twilight teaches girls to be obsessed with their boyfriends.
S. Edward is an abusive boyfriend. He threw Bella at a piano.
T. Bella jumped off of a cliff when Edward left.
U. Also when Edward left, Bella went insane. She heard voices in her head, and then hurt herself in purpose.
V. How the heck do you get lost in the forest when you can see your house?!
W. Renesmee is smarter than all the adults.
X. It's not a good story when all the bad guys die and the good guys live happily ever after and no one dies. Ever.
Y. It sucks because I can easily think of 26 ways that Twilight sucks.
Z. And finally.....
VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE.
"With a thousand lies and a good disguise, hit 'em right between the eyes, hit 'em right between the eye. When you walk away, nothing more to say, see the lightning in your eyes, see 'em runnin' for their lives."
~ The Offspring, You're Gonna Go Far Kid
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Chuck Norris commands you to click the picture. (that's not him)
Why oh why,
are we starting up and going down and,
my oh my,
just the two of us in nothingtown....
Nothingtown, the Offspring
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