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Don't take this as a final goodbye... |
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This is not over. No, not at all. This hasn't even BEGUN to start. I'm not going to let it end this way!
For those of you that I remain in contact with, this entry is for you.
I'm leaving. No, not forever. I'd miss you all too much. It's silly, I know. But nonetheless, I'm running away. For those of you that I've informed on what has been happening, you probably know what this is about. And for those that don't, you probably don't care enough for what I have to say. So, ******** you. I'm sorry everyone, I can't take it anymore. I've somewhat mislead you all. I've sugar-coated my problems, to an extent. You shouldn't waste your energy worrying about me. It'll be a lot easier for you. You don't deserve the problems that I'll cause. I'm pathetic. I don't know where I'm going to go. But I know for sure that I'll be heading to see her. I don't know why. Maybe just to see her one last time. Maybe for closure. Who cares? I just wanna be with her. I hate her so much for making me feel like this. I want to hit her so bad!! And after I hit her, I'll cry in her arms. I'll hold her and breath in her scent for an eternity. I'd never let her go if I had my way. But it never goes my way. I hate having to leave Keith and my family behind, but my parents are getting crazier. It hurts to see them fight. It's as if my entire world turned out to be a twisted game of Russian Roulette- where the gun is loaded completely. I don't know if Im coming back. Or whether I want to come back. I don't have a reason to as far as I can see.
Jodie; You've been with me since I first came on Gaia. You were one of the people I could trust. I confided in you and you've helped me more than I let you know. I never gave you enough credit. I'm sorry. You're an amazing person. You're beautiful, funny, kind, and just truly a wonderful woman. I'm lucky that I met you. You always found a way to make me smile. I'm sorry if I've ever hurt you in anyway, I'm an idiot. Don't put yourself down, you have nothing to be ashamed of or anything. I'm truly sorry. B~Emo~Unny; I know we haven't known each other for long, but you've certainly been there for me in the worst situations. We're not exactly 'super-close', but you, too, are one of the few that I can trust. I can call you my friend and mean it. You've never once judged me, as far as I'm aware. You also cared enough to ask what was wrong with me. I'm sorry. I would have liked to know you a bit longer, but I'm being selfish. Take care of yourself, okay? Don't let any boy or any drama get you down. You're better than that.
I'm so sorry, everyone. Please don't hate me. I'm really not this pathetic. I swear! Please don't hate me... But then again, I don't see why you shouldn't hate me. I wouldn't blame you. Take care everyone. Hopefully, I will come back feeling better. If I don't... well, I don't expect you to write a eulogy for me...
With love [and sending it in a tear-stained envelope with a tacky stamp that reminds you of just how much you hate me], Andrew Stephen D. Saint-Gordon
PS- Just though I'd add a little 'emo' humor before I left. But then again- humor is sometimes a useless escape from crying. Love you guys! Take care, seriously.
[.Skeet-Skeet.] · Fri Mar 10, 2006 @ 04:25am · 4 Comments |
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