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Don't take this as a final goodbye... |
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This is not over. No, not at all. This hasn't even BEGUN to start. I'm not going to let it end this way!
For those of you that I remain in contact with, this entry is for you.
I'm leaving. No, not forever. I'd miss you all too much. It's silly, I know. But nonetheless, I'm running away. For those of you that I've informed on what has been happening, you probably know what this is about. And for those that don't, you probably don't care enough for what I have to say. So, ******** you. I'm sorry everyone, I can't take it anymore. I've somewhat mislead you all. I've sugar-coated my problems, to an extent. You shouldn't waste your energy worrying about me. It'll be a lot easier for you. You don't deserve the problems that I'll cause. I'm pathetic. I don't know where I'm going to go. But I know for sure that I'll be heading to see her. I don't know why. Maybe just to see her one last time. Maybe for closure. Who cares? I just wanna be with her. I hate her so much for making me feel like this. I want to hit her so bad!! And after I hit her, I'll cry in her arms. I'll hold her and breath in her scent for an eternity. I'd never let her go if I had my way. But it never goes my way. I hate having to leave Keith and my family behind, but my parents are getting crazier. It hurts to see them fight. It's as if my entire world turned out to be a twisted game of Russian Roulette- where the gun is loaded completely. I don't know if Im coming back. Or whether I want to come back. I don't have a reason to as far as I can see.
Jodie; You've been with me since I first came on Gaia. You were one of the people I could trust. I confided in you and you've helped me more than I let you know. I never gave you enough credit. I'm sorry. You're an amazing person. You're beautiful, funny, kind, and just truly a wonderful woman. I'm lucky that I met you. You always found a way to make me smile. I'm sorry if I've ever hurt you in anyway, I'm an idiot. Don't put yourself down, you have nothing to be ashamed of or anything. I'm truly sorry. B~Emo~Unny; I know we haven't known each other for long, but you've certainly been there for me in the worst situations. We're not exactly 'super-close', but you, too, are one of the few that I can trust. I can call you my friend and mean it. You've never once judged me, as far as I'm aware. You also cared enough to ask what was wrong with me. I'm sorry. I would have liked to know you a bit longer, but I'm being selfish. Take care of yourself, okay? Don't let any boy or any drama get you down. You're better than that.
I'm so sorry, everyone. Please don't hate me. I'm really not this pathetic. I swear! Please don't hate me... But then again, I don't see why you shouldn't hate me. I wouldn't blame you. Take care everyone. Hopefully, I will come back feeling better. If I don't... well, I don't expect you to write a eulogy for me...
With love [and sending it in a tear-stained envelope with a tacky stamp that reminds you of just how much you hate me], Andrew Stephen D. Saint-Gordon
PS- Just though I'd add a little 'emo' humor before I left. But then again- humor is sometimes a useless escape from crying. Love you guys! Take care, seriously.
[.Skeet-Skeet.] · Fri Mar 10, 2006 @ 04:25am · 4 Comments |
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Back from being Stephen... |
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So yeah. I recently got back from homestate- the best place in the world- New York. Hell yeah! I love that place. All my roots are there. Along with my history and criminal records. xD Anyway, we went there last Thursday because we had to visit my er- Nonno. My grandpa. He's in the hospital and stuff. Honestly, that was the boring part. The best part was the fact that we stayed with my cousin Joel. He's so awsome. I used to hang out with him all the time when I still lived in New York. Anyway, when I got there, the first thing we did was look for all the people I used to hang out with and all the people that pissed me off. I found about half of them. Of course, I had to kick someone's a**- well, more like a lot of people's a**. But anyway, after that me and Joel just kinda hung out and did crazy stuff... I played football, too! Me, Joel, some of my old friends, and some other dudes. I sucked. >>; Football's not my thing. But that doesn't mean that I didn't score some touchdowns and tackled people. I scored a few, but I still got my a** served to me. Eh. Oh! And my other cousin, Bri, she's a theater person and she gets paid for making props. Well, she had these pair of wings lying around her apartment. They were like bird wings or angel wings or whatever. So I put them on and I was wearing all white that day- they were white 'goth' pants, a white long sleeved shirt, and my hair was really messed up. I was supposed to look like I just broke out of a mental asylum- so it looked like I was some sort of... angel. She took this really cool picture, too. I was sitting on the roof of their apartment and the wind was blowing and the sun was positioned somewhere above so when the camera took the picture, the glare made it look like a halo. It was pretty sweet.
Oh! And I have a new favorite movie. I watched Four Brothers 6 times in one day when I was over my cousins'. There's a really hot person in that movie. Jack Mercer played by Garrett Hedlund. <333 Wanna see pictures? [x] [x] [x] [x]
He's cute, no? Yeah... I get so 'Italian' when I'm back home. I started cursing in Italian at this one dude. I even saw one of the cops that arrested me once! It was kinda funny actually. So basically, I'm Stephen in New York and I'm Andrew in Florida. I have split personalities... xD
[.Skeet-Skeet.] · Tue Feb 21, 2006 @ 11:43pm · 3 Comments |
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Yay! It's my Step-dad's Birthday! Go Tony. Hah, I called him over and now he's reading this. Tee-hee. He says 'What're ya doing? Talking to your homiez online again? Tell 'em I say hi.' Now whatch this.
Hey, Tony. Look, you're reading this aren't you? Yeah, well read this. Happy Birthday... You retarded a**-face.uruhruhyer
Ow. He just slammed my face into the keyboard. ... Muhaha. I just threw cake at him. Aw, ********! He threw a can of pepsi at me!! What an a**... Cool, it exploded all over the kitchen floor... Now, my mom's yelling at me to go clean it up. Hey mom, read this: Tony did it. Go yell at him!
Grr. I'm tellin' you. I don't gots no respect, no respect. I still had to go clean this up. Sucks. Anyway, it's Tony's birthday. You should get me a present. :3
[.Skeet-Skeet.] · Fri Jan 27, 2006 @ 04:21am · 0 Comments |
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Oh shi', it's almost over!! It's my birthday today, and I'm officially 16. Oh yeah. That's hot. cool
[.Skeet-Skeet.] · Fri Dec 30, 2005 @ 05:01am · 2 Comments |
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Merry Christmas, yo!! I got to dress in drag. 8D |
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That's right. Your's truly got to wear a dress. Well, there goes my street rep. Ha, just kidding. But I really did wear a dress. See, my friend Joy, her dad is head of this one organization and they were having a party. Joy got us a gig there, along with another 'more prfessional' group. The party was seperated into two rooms; one for the older group(17+) and one for the younger group (5yrs- 16yrs). Anyway, we got the younger room, of course. We were playing there for most of the time, except during the dinner entertainment. That's when my band had to get 'dressed up'. As if wearing a tie wasn't enough... rolleyes So, 25 minutes before we were supposed to play our final song, before dinner was over, we got into our dresses. We had the white makeup, the lipstick, the heels, the dresses, the stocking, even wigs to top it off. Except our newest member, Chris "j**z" Nicol, a choir boy who provides our vocals. x3 He wore the black suit with the shades. I forgot the name of the frickin' Duran Duran song again! I wrote it on my hand after Brett told me, but I was sweating a lot, so it washed off. Damn it... I can't believe you girls can stand wearing heels. They hurt and I almost fell off the stairs while walking in them. Geez...
Well, after our shift was over, we were invited to stay. We all brought our boards with us and we headed out into the parking lot. We were all skating in our nice shirt and ties, it was kinda funny. And I, the idiot that I am, decided to go skating in two inch heels. Yeah. It really hurt. Oh! And we got tipped because we kept the workers at the hotel where we were playing at entertained. They were shouting out tricks and we tried to perform them. So, all-in-all we made about 50 bucks each. Not bad for our first public performance... cool
[.Merry Christmas.]& [.Happy Holidays.] [</3]
[.Skeet-Skeet.] · Mon Dec 26, 2005 @ 12:51am · 0 Comments |
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...Where Andrew gets into Indie bands. xDD
I've recently found one of my favorite unsigned band while I was looking on myspace. Holy crap! They are my idols right now. They're just a high school band and they can come up with songs like that. It's amazing. They kick the s**t out of my band! xD Plus, they're really cute. <3 My favorite bands change from time to time, but right not it's... Yup, TCFHS. Before, it was Avenged Sevenfold. >>; I'm totally addicted to their one song 'Redemption'. It's like Cocaine for me. I just can't enough of it.
Wanna see what I mean? [Official Website] [Myspace webpage]
Oh! Btw, some of you may be getting a little something from me... Or not. ;3
[.Skeet-Skeet.] · Tue Nov 22, 2005 @ 11:48pm · 4 Comments |
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Ladies dig a man in uniform. |
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I finally got to wear my Air Force ROTC uniform today. It's a light blue shirt, navy blue pants, belt, hat, tie, black shoes and black socks. I was hot. cool But seriously, it was hard keeping it perfect for the whole day! My belt buckle had to be shiny, my shoes had to be shined, and my shirt and pants had to be wrinkle-free. I had to wear my tie and hat in a specific way or I'd get yelled at. Brutal. But it's alright. 'Cause Aaron's in ROTC and he looked sexy. Mm-mm-mm. Break me off a piece of that. <333 We also had inspections today. I was almost perfect. I just got one demerit for my stupid belt. Stupid piece of crap! D<
Also, some girl were hitting on me and Aaron. It was really funny because me and Aaron started to go along with it and flirt back. We're so bad... xDD
[.Skeet-Skeet.] · Thu Nov 03, 2005 @ 10:27pm · 3 Comments |
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Skeet-skeet. Biatch. cool
[.Skeet-Skeet.] · Wed Oct 26, 2005 @ 11:18pm · 2 Comments |
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