Do or have you ever feel like there's no subject in school that you're good at? In high school I felt like the only subject I was actually good at was music. English was ok. Usually got by with B's. Did good with Biology and totally sucked at math and chemistry/physics. But in music I received an A in every class.
I soon discovered that I actually had a pretty good voice and people enjoyed listening to it. I had won the talent show 2 years in a row at my high school by singing classical music, and was in Regional and All-State Honor Choir for 3 years in a row. So when my senior year came around I had decided that I was going to major in music/vocal performance in college. Singing was what I loved to do and majoring in something that would allow me to sing all the time seemed like a perfect idea. Plus I was good at it.
In my mind being a music major sounded like it would be a piece of cake. And for the most it is in my opinion. The only problem is there's these classes that music majors have to take called "Music Theory". Now my band director had warned me about such classes but I thought he was just trying to scare. NO, he was right. Music Theory is HARD. I don't even want to try to describe it. It's hard to explain and if you no nothing about music and chord writing you won't know what the hell I'm talking about. I totally suck at music theory, which is bad since it's like the main ingredient in every music major produced.
Turns out theory isn't my only problem though. I'm in the Applied Program at Santa Monica College, which is cool because you have to audition to get in. Now I admit I use to think I was this amazing kick butt singer. But after hearing the other singers in the class I was ready to call it quite. This semester there is this girl who is absolutely AMAZING. Not only can she sing but she's got the looks too. I remember the first time I heard her sing I just wanted to quite. She is way better than me. She's also older than me and has more experience but still, after hearing someone at her level you just feel like a tiny ant.
So yeah my idea of a music major didn't turn out as easy as I thought it was going to be. And at times it really sucks. Music is really the only thing I'm good at..and now I've found that I'm not really so good at it... So what's a person to do? I love singing..and some people even say I have a gift. (And not just my grandma) I don't know what I'm going to do. I guess just keep pushing and keep my faith in God to pull me through. I pray all the time for God's help and guidance. If there's anyway I'm going to get through this I know it will be with His help. Because I now by myself I have a snowball's chance in Hell.
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