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The acursed void of sadness has returned. I question what my continuing to live will accomplish, and I think of how useless I'm being. Worse, I think that the one person I want to keep smileing, I may be hurting her, taking away her beautiful smile. I think she cares but I don't know.... She is so inherintly kind, I don't know. I'm a worthless gluten, I can't even help the people I care about most. And to top it off, my I doubt my own worth. Yes, the void is truely open again. But what takes more courage? Living when you feel like dying, even if you feel like you only create suffering. OR, Dying when you have so little courage to end your life? I don't know. I just want to forget, I never want to ruin her life. I want her to be happy, even if I'm not part of that happyness. cry

Kill me, take my mind, my soul, but just make her happy.... cry