*sigh* get ready for depression.
it's like i'm the only one that exists on this planet, i swear. nobody has called, nobody's home except for my brother (who might as well not even be alive, i haven't heard a thing from his room. i don't think he's even awake, and it's almost three-thirty) and not even a car has driven down our street. i feel like i survived the apocalypse or something. truly, i have never felt such utter loneliness and emptiness. everything is just...dead. and the book i'm reading isn't helping much, i can tell you that...it's about a couple who, just after they're married, are seperated because the husband has a severe case of "sexual psychosis" and is locked away for the next fifteen years and they can't see each other, not even once, because he might rape her or something. very uplifting.
i don't even have the comfort of a pet, since luke hasn't turned up all day and gerard...well, for those of you who don't know yet, gerard died the other night. i did everything i could...really i did...i was cleaning out his bowl once a week, i fed him every other day, everything they told me to do...but he still died. i didn't think it would be that big of a deal to me if he didn't survive long, but i couldn't help it...i cried a lot. i felt so guilty, because the fact is something i did was the reason he died. i didn't think it possible to be so grief-stricken over a goldfish...i guess i really am pathetic.
Brittastiq · Sat Apr 01, 2006 @ 11:21pm · 5 Comments |