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((Critic my grammar during one of my confessionals equals instant and complete death to me - confessionals by me aren't meant to be read.))
I need anger, I need pain... fear, hatred, anything but this dread I feel right now.
People anger me, such as those who you tell something to and they tell soemone else... example:
I have a bit of a crush on a girl, no names. Anyways, I told two... maybe three people. But I told them biggrin On't say anything,b esides the fac that you have no right to, I don't want anyone scaring her off. I prefer a friend to a stranger. Regardless, I tell three people, and one of them tlels ME today "Dont ask her out, she likes you as of friend, don't worry - she doesn't know it's you" WHAT THE ********?!?! DIdn't I tell her thatn I wanted to handle it on my opwn? No, she decides to tak eit into HER OWN ******** HANDS and does something that I find something completelu and utterly unforgivable - I'bve now most likely lost a friend, and I don't even want to look at the b***h now. Jesus Christ - wherever you are, help me ******** that b***h up. I need to write, and write qucikly, get this all off my chest before i destroy her, because I'm quite dangerous when I lose my temper, as in , hospitalize a stranger, dangerous. Dammit, now I'm cold. Geez... now I KNOW I'm furious....

I get impulse, murderous, destructive impulses. I keep them in check (obviously) but they affect me physically. wWHen I'm really angry, i start to shake, and I grow cold... like, discolored hands cold. I seriously hope that neither girl talks to me today - or I might hurt them (unintentionally, of course) but yeah, I'm not phsyco, becasue I KNOW I have problems. I'm not dangerous, I've never let it get that loose. i always manage to rein in my anger, but... I don't know what's going on now. THis time... I mean, there've been other times I've been agnry, but nothing quite THIS bad. It's terrible erally. Holy s**t... gotta calm down. Just... yeah. This is helping, but you have no idea how made I am right now. I pity everyone I interact with until i calm down... and I gotta work today. DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I gotta go... class is starting.