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As I sat at my computer this morning, I thought an earthquake had happened. The shaking was rather minimal, though. I thought it was odd that my dogs didn't start acting alert before hand, which is what typically happens. I turned on the news only to be assalted by morning talk shows. Horrified out of my half-awake-state, I pressed buttons on the remote until yokle (local) news filled my TV. I endured their news until a blurb of semi-vague information caught my attention. KUSI News has kinda legitimate information that the rummble was caused by something military related, but they are not sure. Whoever called the info in said they heard a big boom before the rummble. (Oh the joys of living near bases.) The pretty male anchor said they would look into it and I the viewer should check back. I think not. I think, I will check the paper tomorrow. It would appear to not be the big one, so I am going to resume life as normal. Well, as normal as I get.
Lets see, what is going on in the life of me. I am getting my nails done today, but that is not really interesting. Oh, I know. I shall regale you with my sleeping habits. *Wishes her sleeping was actually as consistant as the word "habits" implies.*
I am so friggin' tired, dude. Since just before my sissy went into surgery, my sleeping has gotten erratic again. When I sleep, it is usually about 3 to 4 hours between tossing, turning and spastic legs. Well, not spastic. They are indecisive. Straight? Bent? Up? Over the edge? It drives me nuts.
The part that makes me jump, jumping so high I hit the ceiling, is when I wake up with bruises or cuts. The last time I did that was after Alan died. I thought it was all the conflicting meds I was on. Ha. Wishful thinking is the middlest of my names. I am not sure how to make this stop. I don't want to result to strapping myself into bed, but if I do need to take it that far, I can go to F Street again. (F Street is our resident sex shop.)
What I have decided to do is try and tire myself out before I go to bed, hoping that I will be too exhausted to beat myself during the night. I have cut my nails back, but it seems to have made them sharper. Blast! Can I catch a break? And I don't mean something breaking my skin.
Operation Snore had been underway since yesterday. All I can currently report is that I tossed, turned and leg flopped less. It is an improvement. I am not expecting a miracle.
Hey speaking of miracles...
Do you watch TV at 5 a.m.? Stop looking at the screen like that. It has feelings too. Anyway, as I sat in front of the TV a pointy looking minister was preaching the joys of Miracle Spring Water. It was like looking at a sharper dressed version of Jonas Nightengale. I was fascinated for about 10 minutes, which is a long time for me to focus on anything at that hour. That duration was long enough for me to be filled with the holey spirit of cynicism. Perhaps I look at them with the wrong eyes. Bartender, another shot of faith please!
Ladies stood near the slightly sinister looking minister happily testifying to the camera about how after they anointed themselves with the Miracle Spring Water and put the "money purse" in their hand bags, they were given all sorts of blessings. One lady reportedly recieved a check for $13,222 in the mail within days.
There were two different kinds of cancers cured by the anointing. I was tempted to talk to the TV people and ask, "Cured or remission?" But alas, I was awake enough to realize how silly that would appear. Talking to the TV at 5 a.m., now that's just ridiculous.
Apparently the "money purse" you recieve from them in the mail after your first time complimentary bottle of Miracle Spring Water is supposed to act as a money magnet. They never say if there is money in this purse or what the purse looks like or how much the purse costs. But there is quite a lot of personal accounts of money flowing into these tearful ladies lives. A lady dessed in black and donning gold jewelry professed that after she anointed herself and put the money purse in her purse random people walked up to her and gave her money. Confused, she asked one of the ladies why she was giving her money. The giver's reply was, "Just be blessed child". (I wish I could make good stuff like this up.) My thought was, maybe she looked like a bag lady. Sure, she looks all dunup for the camera, but how am I to know if that is what she normally wears out or what her standing in life is?
The best one was a guy trying to talk through his tears to both his wife in the audience (which you never saw) and the minister. He was so greatful that his wife had convinced him to anoint himself since he had been out of prison. With the edits, it was hard to tell what he was greatful for. (Perhaps it was the being out of his unfortunate incarceration?) The minister just stared at him with a fake smile carved into his face. If I wasn't trying so hard to figure out what blessings Crying Guy had recieved, I would have been creeped out.
As these people sang praise to Jesus, God, and Miracle Spring Water, people in the background stared at the camera. These people had name tags on, but they seemed to be onlookers, clearly captivated by the performaces. My brethren where not in ever shot, which is understandable. If the TV consumers -I mean audience members to be saved by the Miracle- saw them all over they may not believe that there is a huge crowd in the auditorium. A crowd clammering to hear the minister speak, hands painfully out streached for more Miracle Spring Water to enrich their poor lives.
Miracle: a marvellous event manifesting a supernatural act of God. (dictionary.com)
The only miracle I see at work is that people buy this product and imagery. For crying out loud, the bookshelves in his "office" had lengthy blank spaces where books, all of which looked like legal volumes, may have lived at one time. Some of the books were toppled over and dusty. I don't think there was a Bible anywhere. Not to mention, one of the shelves was different colors and drastically uneven. The books were to be placed near him, but I don't think they knew how big the frame was going to be. Either that or at the last minute they opted to widen the shot to make the desk more imposing, leaving the book shelves in the back to fend for themselves.
As tiresome as watching early morning commercials is, I don't feel sufficiantly sleepy. Dang-nabbit. Perhaps I should look into a hobby, like dooping people. I'll call it Baptizing Solution. Hey, I already have a nice outfit and a lot of books. It could work. My slogan, "Not just another bottle of B.S.!"
OrneryAiUnicorn · Tue Apr 04, 2006 @ 07:01pm · 0 Comments |
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