I did not wake up at 7 a.m. because I am excited that Erika is graduating today at 3 o'clock. Honestly, I have no bloody idea why I woke up at that foggy hour. I partically blame Clio for barking until I yelled at her to stop. I do not understand her needs. Normally, I don't mind, but when it knocks me out of a peaceful state rest, I must express my own needs. Yelling can be a need.
Before when I saw my life before my eyes, I was frightened. I thought that if I could have an idea of how my life would go that would mean a slow death to me. I don't see it that way anymore. Feeding off chaos just leaves you with a mouth full of crap. There is something very nice about predictability.
"I love never knowing what is going to happen," I've thought. I was kidding myself. No matter how you plan your life, it can and will change. No need to find change in never doing the same thing twice, it will find you, promise.
I still want to travel and see the world, but I don't have this hunger for making my life harder because that is what I think I need. Life is hard enough without trying.
OrneryAiUnicorn · Sat May 13, 2006 @ 04:57pm · 0 Comments |