How could I let it end like this?
I feel like the worst friend ever.
We went to school together,
we walked home side by side
We shared laughs and smiles
Remember our woods?
Remember the time you wanted
to create a tree-house together?
...
Remember how I left while we
were almost done with it?
Remember how all we had to do
was add the tarp on the top?
Remember how we carved
our names into the wood flooring
of OUR fort?
Can you recall that day....
I made us both leave
because I didn't want to finish it?
You went along
because that's what true friends do
...
they agree on things.
Then one day...
You walked home with someone else
I almost broke into tears
I thought why
Why would you do that to me?
I ran home
past you and your new friend
this is where it gets hard for me to say
that
that was the day I cut my wrist
for the first time.
It was 2 years ago
that you did that
When we got to high school
Today I saw you
You sat alone at lunch
You walked home alone
While your 'friend'
hung out with the people
who you hated
2 years time...I moved on
I HATED moving on from
someone like you
But I did.
In science....
all my new friends wanted
to be my partner
But I couldn't take my eye off you
I went up to you
and asked if you ...
...
could ever forgive me?
How? So you can boss me? you asked
My heart sank
I took a deep breath,
then smiled at you
"Because I was bossy.
I didn't treat you good.
I decided who
you were to be friends with.
I told you that you
had to like what I like
and now,
I realize that it wasn't right.
I was the worst friend.
It hurt like hell to move on
from you.
You are ...
irreplacable..
Friendly, out going..
the most
funny, reliable
caring person I
have ever met at school.
I can't loose you---"
You burst out into tears
and hugged me,
you whispered in my ear...
"Thank you..."
The teacher pulled us out in the hall
asking "What happened?"
and We looked at eachother,
I put my arm around you
Glad to be by your side,
and told the teacher...
"The best friendship was restored."
Last Friday (yesterday, April 26th)
was the day we walked home
together....
and we finished our fort...
we made a teepee
at hobbs woods...
and laughed together
that was the day
I smiled out of happiness
for the first time in 2 years
by seeing you
I love you, Jillian
Please...don't let our friendship ever end like that
I promise with all of my heart, that I never treat you
like that again. And if I do, God damn me to hell.
You are a 1 in a million kind of girl
I don't think I am worthy of your friendship....
but you do.
Br00kelle Community Member 
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