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F*** -sigh-
A little while back, someone close to me brought up the fact that I do WAY too much for my family given the recognition and respect that I gt back in return. Well, I just kinda sorta ignored what was said and went on with my life. In fact, the fact that I ignored this concern is the reason that I no longer speak to that person. Even though I miss said person being in my life. So, anyway, it was brought to my attention again, just recently by another person, and again, I dismissed it. One would think that I had learned the error of my ways the first time. Especially since it ended a wonderful friendship and an even more lovely romantic relationship as well. However, this time is a little bit different. This person brought it up the second that they noticed it and it started to bother them, affect them, which ever way you want to put it. As the weeks roll by, and I become more and more stressed out by my job and the fact that I am NO WHERE near where I thought I would be financially, I have started to wonder and ask myself, "Could they have been right? Is it honestly possible that I do WAY too much for them and get walked on in return? Has my whole philosophy of, 'They're my family and I would do anything for them to make sure that they are taken care of, even if it means ignoring what I want and need.' been SO skewed and f***ed right from the beginning?" It kinda hit home today as I was taking out the trash for the second day in a row, right after doing the dishes mind you. I stay here a total of MAYBE, and even that word is a stretch, three nights a week. That's on a bad week. Other than that, I am almost NEVER here. Now they want me to cook dinner tonight as well. -sigh- All I can say is, I should have listened the first time. Nothing left to do now but grow a pair of balls and stand up for myself.
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