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i...just...feel...a little...ugh.
anyone care to add an appropriate synonym here? stressed, tired, worn-out, frustrated, exhausted, sick of this never-ending wait?
i suppose it's just the whole end-of-school blues popping up again, even if i'm definitely not unhappy about school ending, it's just that...it seems so far away still. only a month and two weeks, really, but every day after walking home i can't help but think, i've walked in these same steps for the last 200+ days, twice a day. next year, unless by some magical circumstance i acquire a car, i'll still be tracing those exact same steps. when you think about it in terms of all the repetition, the time i've waited just for two or three weeks of bliss this summer seems really enormous and exhausting. and i can't help but think how much harder next year will be compared to this one...what with auditioning for the play, taking the exit exam, having to start the whole college process with my counselor, and the infamous load of homework they give sophomores. hell, it hasn't even started yet, and i'm already dreading it.
so, to channel my frustration and negativity, i have put together an extensive wish list of things i want or need to happen: -testing to be over (luckily that will happen tomorrow) -finally find some shoes to replace my old ones. they're beauitful and i love them, but they're getting so ancient it's like walking barefoot. but i just can't seem to find any others that i really like... -have a decent-length conversation with alex, which i have not done in the past week and a half. various circumstances have been standing in our way. -get enough sleep. anyone in high school recognizes that that's a heck of a lot harder than it sounds. -talk to my counselor about changing my schedule for next year to take journalism. -book my ticket to lake charles. -get my nightmare before christmas poster to stay up on my wall and not fall down every thirty minutes. -write a book. *my inner self laughs long and hard at this one* -hug ceasar. i don't know how, dammit, so don't bother me about that right now. life finds a way.
Brittastiq · Fri Apr 28, 2006 @ 04:17am · 3 Comments |
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