I do remember her when I really try; I loved her deeply and foolishly. She was everything to me.
How could I not think back to those hazy Summer days, when, between the booze and mysterious pills, we found ourselves high and drunk but always together? Those days that I can't picture completely; they're a blur, a fleeting feeling, a "maybe" and a whisper through dense smoke.
Large eyes stared at me in the darkness, those long fingers tracing my neck, her breath my own. We knew each other's every thought. Never a soul felt more compatible, more understood. Although there were moments when our ideals didn't match - there must have been, I’m sure, because it's impossible to be so perfectly in sync- she remained there, my sole companion.
It felt right and wrong. Back then I couldn't understand. It is scary, really, now that I think of it. Her constant presence, her words overpowering mine. I wonder if any decision I made was ever my own. Maybe that's what started it all.
Now you tell me, and among nostalgia I find myself certain, that she is no longer living. Why, you say -and I can't help but believe you- that it was my decision to eliminate her from existence. Yes, it is definitely true; I got rid of her, my other half; the one that kept staring at me in the mirror.
 vastuky · Fri Nov 20, 2015 @ 06:45pm · 0 Comments |
