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"What is the best way to start a strongly worded message to a retailer who has wronged you?"

"I'm a ninja"

~~~

"If a ninja falls down in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?"

"If a ninja does anything anywhere, it doesn't make a sound, and if it does, it will probably be the last sound you ever hear."

~~~

"How do ninja's suppress vestibular or equilibrium abnormalities during a kill so that aerial acrobatic maneuvers don't cause them to fall victim to themselves?"

"I'm a ninja?"

~~~

"Is it possible to meet you without you killing me?"

"Kids, remember this: nothing is impossible, but it is not very likely."