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I watched as my ceiling went from dark to light again in yet another sleepless passing of night and day. just like the gradual passing from day to day that I go through. Despite my hardest struggle it seems i cannot escape my failure. I watch as people pass by, living lives happily...but I only can watch I do not belong to their world. I belong to a world of constant pain and hurt. I fade from the light more and more every passing day. I dont know what is to become of me but it has cost more than i ever wanted to pay. Now I am left to be the same as I grew up. Alone and dark. Bloody and hurt. Watching......as everything passes me by again.