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Whispers in the wind, frozen on deaf ears.
The Diary of Kanstryner, my Gaia alter-ego so to say.
Moonlit Stardust
The wind howls in frustration as it batters around the first snowfall. Still the moon shines down with a big smile upon its face without so much as a second glance. The cold snow doesn't phase it, the bitter wind doesn't come close to touching it. The moon has not a care in the world. Sometimes I wish I could be like the moon. Although I may look it at times, there is a part of me that will never let me attain that level of serenity. At the end of the night I am only human. Full of emotions, capable of mistakes, and slave to dreams. No matter the struggle, I will always fall victim to humanity.

(OOC: Inspiration? Unsung Zeros - Miracle)






User Comments: [5] [add]
ChaviWestWind
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Mon Dec 20, 2004 @ 11:50pm
That was awesome 3nodding I love your stuff... I love the moon too. I found out the coolest thing too: my middle name's Claire, and she recently told me she gave me that name for Claire de Lune, a song, I guess. I thought that was awesome whee I like Claire better than Melissa anyway stare Again, this was really... pretty. Like a ballad 3nodding I heart ballads whee


commentCommented on: Tue Dec 21, 2004 @ 01:02am
(To Chavi: Yep, Claire de Lune is a piano piece by Debussy. 3nodding It's pretty, and pretty popular, so you might've even heard it before.)

As usual, your title fits, Rythen. ^_^ Makes me think of "dust to dust," and the moonlight showing the dreams of humankind for what they are: stardust. (Pretty stardust, though! wink )

I can imagine the first part. Finding myself in the storm, then looking up through the snow and seeing that carefree moon... but the transition to the second half kinda jarrs me out of the picture. I was hoping for more scenery or, Grr, can't find the words. I guess I'll try 'n show you what I mean (Hope you don't mind sweatdrop ):

"The moon has not a care in the world." I wish I could follow along its shining gaze into the heavens, and join it outside the worries of the earthbound. To become inside how I only sometimes appear-- but as the night ends, a part of me protests, drags me down from the serenity I seek. For "I am only human. Full of emotions, capable of mistakes, and [a] slave to dreams. No matter the struggle, I will always fall victim to [my] humanity."

I guess I mean using the scenery you'd created in the first half throughout the second half. Making your character move around in it, interact with it, extend the metaphor... *shrugs and sweatdrops* Something like that.

I get a little carried away; I hope you don't mind all this. sweatdrop And don't let the length of this criticism make you think bad thoughts: I really do like this one, hehe! xd

*notices this is longer than the piece being admired* eek Er, done now. sweatdrop



Ayeali42
Community Member
Morgana_Star
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Tue Dec 21, 2004 @ 05:40am
I know that feeling, and I agree with the above, you definitely can picture the scene in the first part. It reminds me of my horrid window at school. That room is like a cell in the first place, and to top it all off when the wind starts to blow it makes this eerie sound. Think Prince 'When Doves Cry' when he makes that screech noise. "This is what it sounds like, when doves cry *howl*" That's what the wind does... Anyway, as always, well written m'dear.


commentCommented on: Tue Dec 21, 2004 @ 03:22pm
The comments as always are appreciated and the criticism is welcome. I'm not exactly a writer or a poet, sometimes things just come out good and for some reason (unknown to me) people enjoy reading them. ^^



Kanstryner
Community Member
Broken_and_Bleeding
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Wed Jan 05, 2005 @ 04:31am
i hate when you jsut have a poem or something come to mind and you think it's going to suck but then people like it


User Comments: [5] [add]
 
 
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