I turn up my music to drown out the sounds.
It's my own little safe haven.
A place where I can be myself.
A place where no one, but myself matters.
I sit and my mind swims with so many thoughts.
The truth is I don't know what to do with them.
They slowly eat my soul and leave me empty.
The only thing I feel anymore is pain.
I don't mean the physical pain.
That's welcome.
I even cut myself from time to time just to feel again.
What I mean by pain is the pain of nothingness.
The pain of being empty on the inside.
The ******** pain that eats me alive when I look at you.
I could slit my own wrists,
While the blood dripped down my arms I wouldn't think twice about death.
It's welcome.
The blood reminds me that there is still something left inside of me.
It runs down my skin and conforts me for just that molment.
It's my little secreat.
I'm going to keep it that way.
I'm going to bottle it all up and pretend to be fine.
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Dark Thoughts
My work , soul and blood!
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