I've held out for 46 days...That's 46 days of not moving in on his turf, of not overtly flirting, or making overt gestures of affection. 46 days of toungue in cheek comments, and compliments, and sweet gestures. 46 days of harmless flirting between friends (46 days of torture) kept in check by only one thing. Respect for myself. I refuse to compromise my integrity, no matter the temptation, I will not have someone cheat and be with me, that is not the kind of person I would be with or the kind of person I want to be. But foul temptress, make a choice. Because the line between friend and something more is blurring quickly and you have the eraser. I have made it abundantly clear that I will not make the first move and I've made it this far, which is an achievement. Most guys would have given in along time ago. You might say this is self preservation, I don't know for sure what you'd do if I did make a move(reciprocate, kick me in the groin, be silent and accept the assault?). As with most girls, you are receptive and flirtatious one minute and then cold and bitter the next. Which will I see? But you're at heart a quiet and soft spoken person, so I'd bet that whatever I did would slide. I'd like to stress one thing. I have done nothing so far, and plan to do nothing. The more you cuddle me, and rest your head on my shoulder, and bat your eye lashes at me and pout to get what you want, the more I think you like me. You spend more time with me, than with your actual boyfriend(and you lament dating him, but stress you dont want to break up with him).It would seem that a clear cut path is never an option for me, no matter the situation it is always more complicated than need be. In all honesty, if this pace continues something will happen, two people rarely become close and then nothing. So here is the question, how close is too close and should I stop this or let events take their course? Honour will only carry me so far, and the honourable course leads me to empty handed loneliness.
|