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A Twilight Wonderland
Just a day by day (hopefully) follow up on how things are going, stories I'm starting, etc. ^-^
...I Want My Life...


Music: "Be Prepared" - The Lion King
Mood: crying
Time: 11:01am
Questing: Shop Pass (0903/1000)
Currently...: Trying to get that pass so I can sell again! biggrin

crying

Ever just stopped to think about the past and how, if you'd never gone through what you did, that you wouldn't be the same? Well, I just had one of these moments. crying In a bad way.

I started thinking about some of the people I assosiated with in the past... potheads, alcoholics, criminals... backstabbers.

I know I have alot of friends... like Ruby, Jiin, Cory, Lauren, and Alise... but what about those other people?

Greg's a good guy, but if I hadn't met him, would I have shoplifted?... No.

Jeremy was awesome, but if I hadn't met him, would I have bathed in the fumes of pot?... No.

Magen was cool, but would I have taken a drag off a real cig if I hadn't met her?... No.

Anyways, I was thinking... alot. I know, I haven't shoplifted since... I don't touch pot, because I refuse to smoke it (never have, don't want to anyways), I don't smoke because it's a nasty habbit... I knew in the beginning that these things were wrong, but I coexisted with them because of my friends... of those I thought were friends anyways.

I no longer speak to people like Jeremy and Magen... but I still talk to Greg, because the goods with him outweigh the bad; which seems odd, I mean... what can even out shoplifting and a strike on my military record?...

Well, without him, I never would have been confident enough to find someone like Cory, because Greg taught me to deal with myself better. I never would have kissed Cory, because I wouldn't of known how if Greg hadn't taught me. Greg was one of my first male loves... but wasn't the last as I thought he'd be.

It's been an odd day, with all my thinking and such... but it's made me realize something...

I'm not an original person.

I'm little bits of everyone I've ever met.

All of my friends have taught me something that I've taken to heart and swung with to make me who I am today.

Ruby taught me to take God into my life as my savior without doubting Him, among many other things.

Jiin taught me that everything will be ok, so long as you approach life with a smile; a lesson I've had subtly re-teach him because of his lonely disposition since Ruby left.

Mike, a dear friend who I do miss talking to, taught me that if you're gonna be someone, you have to be yourself.

Cory has taught me more in the past few months than many people in my past have in my life time... but the lessons do not weigh anymore than the others... he's taught me to open up and be honest about how I feel... he's shown me how to talk through my anger and stress... without him, I would of, again, lost the feeling of how to love someone with your whole heart... how to pick up the broken pieces of life and live again.

Lauren and Alise... they just taught me how to live in the first place...

I have great friends... and even though some of my past has been painful...

These friends have given me enough courage in life to to throw away my blades and leave the bottle full... not letting alcohol pass my life or the blades cut into my skin.

So I just wanna say...

Thanks guys.

I couldn't of made it without you.

crying

heart Vladanna







User Comments: [3] [add]
Ruby_Valentine
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Tue Aug 22, 2006 @ 11:15pm
^ ^ For some reason the time when we went shopping in Ala Moana together came to mind just now. Good times, eh, Neechan? And then you came to my house, and we star-gazed in the driveway while waiting for your mom to come pick you up. Yeah... I dunno where I'm going with this. sweatdrop

But I must also thank you for guiding me through my bouts of depression, and the big sisterly advice that you gave me. ;-; I miss talking to ya with messengers!

crying heart

~*That One Puerto Rican Chick You Fought With Over An Anime Guy*~


commentCommented on: Wed Aug 23, 2006 @ 12:09am
No problem heart I've still much to teach you young padiawon XDD

Miss ya Sam, take care now, and keep smiling xd heart

Jiin



Luong_Jiin
Community Member
Sylvr Tearz
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Fri Aug 25, 2006 @ 05:32am
Awww...That's so sweet,love. It made me smile. 3nodding


User Comments: [3] [add]
 
 
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