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why am i so stupid i swear i am going to single handedly destroy my relationship with the one person who makes me truely happy i cant understand why i dont just mind my own business why cant i control myself is it really that hard to have self control for something so simple i guess it is for someone like me i just hope i can fix the damage i have done and quick or else im gonna lose her why is it so hard to trust why cant i be that amazing person i want to be who does everything right who is the sweet romantic the all together good person who isnt a ******** up is it possible to change can i really be better im starting to doubt cause i have tried and failed many times I WANT TO I DONT WANT TO LOSE HER but i think i am