Help me!! Too much!! AH!
What? Stuf happening in Menchi's life? eek Wow.
Ga. First, my dad got married last week.. Yea.. you heard me. he married that person and her children. Ga!
And what else.. Stuff with my brothers? What? Brothers? They do exist!! Hum.. Last I heard was Dan is going to live with my dad now... ug. So I really dont want to be at my dads house. I know... family... blah blah blah. But he's done some bad things to me and the rest of the family. I dont really want to deal with it. And then my mother will be bringing my other brother Matt home for the holiday. rolleyes exciting huh? Theres that happy family I was talking about. All well, I wouldnt mind seeing Matt again, Im just a little wary of Daniel.
What else.. Hu.. Menchi was dumb.. I asked for more hours at work.. I get to go back to working 20 a week again.. sigh... Menchi will be tired and I worry I will neglect my new boyfriend... Wait.. Yes.. Its true.. Menchi has officially been dating the cowboy for a whole 12 hours now.. sigh.. I just.. Worry that its not right and blah blah blah. I dont want to hurt him or anything. But a reminder came to me about relationships today.. It was in a tall, skinny blond package.. I name it Tommy. Sigh.. Heres the part that bothers me about all the Gaa brain overload. The rat basurds return..
Thats not fair. I shouldnt say that about him. I just wish there was a reason to hate him. He was walking around my school when we let out today.. And he found me. There was short awckwad conversation, and he looked as good as ever. and he hugged me. and awkward hug. And left. When he turned away I cried. I thought I was over this. But thats all I could do, was hate how much I loved him, and how I have to let go. I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate it. And it makes me feel terrible that Im suppose to be with Sean, when Im still upset about something that happened 3 months ago. I was talking to another guy at school, he saw me cry. And I told him I thought he was over it, but he said, you never get over your first love. I wish I had never fallen in love with Tommy. Or that he had never left. I had once told him that no matter what happened I never wanted to forget the relationship he and I had, but now thats something I want more than anything. To forget what I had, so I dont morn the loss.
Sadly, I find myself comparing Sean to Tommy. And guess who comes out on top... I shouldnt do that. But for some reason I do. I just wish I had a reason to hate him. I wish he hadnt hugged me.
Ga. Theres my brain overload. Stupid Menchi. Most of it is matters of the heart. A little of i is matters of the family, and the final persentage goes to the working world. But why should I have all this brain overload? Isnt tomorrow Thanksgiving? Shouldnt I be happy just to be alive, to be going to a private school, to have a warm place to sleep at night, and to have my muffins (Liz,Kate, Katie)? Yup. I think I'll try and focus on that instead... blaugh heart
Menchi Saga · Wed Nov 22, 2006 @ 11:21pm · 2 Comments |