Its getting closer and closer to Valentines Day... I'm constantly aware that its almost been a year... Shawn comes to my mind more and more often. Everytime I see a heart I feel like mine is bleeding. Everytime someone says February, or Valentines, I wanna cry. My mom is taking me to Chicago for that weekend to distract me, but not only am i probably going to have to go to school on that monday(THE DAY) im also gonna have to bury everything inside and pretend to have a good time, or my chance to go to Chicago will be ruined and my mom will be insulted. Everytime I talk about going to Chicago someone wants to know "Why Why Why" most of the time they wont respond to "because", either. Then I have to tell the WHOLE story since the only people who have to ask are those who didn't know him, or about my relationship with him. Others just guess thats why im going. Ofcourse theres also the people who say something about Valentines Day, then demand to know why I say its the worst day of the year. Most are expecting me to be obnoxious and say I hate it because of all the lovey dovey stuff and are floored when I tell them the real reason. Something funny happened earlier. In PE Keith came up to Ana and I, and she said,"Lets talk about something akward and drive him away!" Only later did she get informed that he was there because I like him and he knows it. She is a lil' freaked out by it I think. She asked me if he likes me too, and I told her Idunno. I want to ask him if he does, but I'm to chicken... I told myself that I'm gonna ask him tomorrow between 1st and 2nd, but we ALL know I'll chicken out... I'm gonna go now. gotta write an essay on Robert Browning... BORING!!! I'm not doing smilies today, don't feel like it...
Nothing77713 Community Member 
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