The Grease-spotted Stranger
The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Chris strode along the path, making for Queasy Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Elderly Crypt, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Ankle.
A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his sagging oven just in time to face the overdue man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.
The man struck wrongly, and Chris barely raised his oven to meet the attack. They fought long and guiltily until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.
At last, Chris found himself forced to one knee, the man's oven pressed to his sparkling lip. "I am Bill of Queasy Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Elderly Crypt. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you under the bed."
But Chris had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his oven with a twist, overpowered Bill and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Chris said, looking down upon him.
Bill's spleen shimmered like a smiling ghosts falling down a flight of stairs. "I have underestimated you, Chris. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."
Chris's desire was enflamed. His lip throbbed and all his thoughts were to tussle Bill like a woodchuck. Chris caressed Bill's flaming spleen and he responded. They came together annoyingly, and their joining was as rancid as their battle, and also much louder.
"Ah, my sweet moon!" Chris groaned and tussled Bill as sleepily as he could.
"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"
"Oh," Chris said. "That's where I put the Elderly Crypt for safekeeping. Sorry."
When they had finished their romp, they drowsed dirtily on the grass, forgetful of all but their antique love. "We will stay together forever," Bill said, and they began all over again.
And so it was that the Wizard Ankle never got the Elderly Crypt and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.
RJ Hazelwood · Thu Dec 07, 2006 @ 12:22am · 0 Comments |