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she told me she and everyone hates me on deadjournal. That hurt so bad. I don't think i can get over it. She came to get her cat from my friends house yesturday and i didn't talk to her. Because she can cry at my friends house and accually give a damn about me. When people that don't like me aren't around...but when it is in deadjournal, or when i try to call her i have to deal with talking to frankie, and i had to go through the pain of being afraid of seeing her in first hour at school yesturday and she didn't even go. Like she even has a right to be sad you know? shes the one who doesn't want to be my friend, i am the one that is so mother ******** horrible to her just because i wont only date her. Or because i am "setting myself up to be hurt" well good because then at least when matt hurts me i will finally have enough of a reason to kill myself. I want to right now, yesturday, i was crying so hard in bed that i couldn't talk, i just kept moaning, it's like really bad heartburn, in your every body part. It's like getting a bunch of shots. and the more you cry the worse it gets, and no matter how har i cry, she is still going to sit there and talk s**t about me. She still doesn't care about me anymore. Yesturday, in her journal...she thought of the nicest way possible to call me a whore, and then put it in her journal, she can't talk to me about these things, she has to put them in her journal, so frankie and lyz and all them can see it and be like yay brooke now your kool...maybe if she is a bigger b***h to me he will take her back. But i am the only one who sets myself up for getting hurt, even though all he would have to do is snap her fingers and he would have her back. It's not ******** fair, that she only needs me when he is pissed at her, or dateing some hoe. Or kissing her friend. I am like one of the only people she knows who doesn't have a thing for frankie. And i bet ANY of those people she is talking s**t about me with, with trade her to date frankie in a second. I hope she knows what it feels like, to hear your best friend say they hate you. To get a guy to like them. Because matt wouldn't get off to that...and i don't do that to people. Not ones that i love, allthough she proved she doesn't love me just by doing this. How can you love someone when you ask someone to beat thier a**, or tell them you hate them, or call them a whore, and say they have alot of problums, well i do have alot of problums, and right now. one of them is her. crying
 broken_moonlight · Tue Feb 08, 2005 @ 11:49am · 4 Comments |
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