Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

you think your life is just crap,
like it was a mistake for you to ever live
your wasting your time on guys who don't care,
and just want you for what you "got"
you dissolve your pain with alcohol and razorblades,
getting stoned is the high point,
and smoking pot makes the pain fade
why can't you see by doing this your hurting those around you
your hurting your best-friends
i told you I'm here for you no matter what,
that what friends are for
but i have my own life to lead
i can't be buying you coffee to make the hangover go away,
or hold your hair while you puke up all your booze
what happened to,
the Musketeers stick together and tell each other everything
you wanted to be a singer, you wanted to be an actress
but now you say you don't care
no matter how many fights we got in we always made up
we made a pact to stick together
when i was fed up with life,
when everything was crashing down
you helped me pick it up
but last time you got a scare,
you said you were going to leave and never have contact with your old life
by saying that you hurt me more than ever
i haven't told you that i have a death will for the person that got you into this
before she told you that razors would "help" and that pot made you "happy"
you were really happy, not just pretending
you stuck up for me when i needed it,
and now it's once again my turn to stick up for you
but i'm afraid i'm too late
i tried to talk you out of it
but you were already too deep
you say you know how to cut just right,
not enough to kill you, but enough to sooth the pain
one slip and your dead
one wrong moment and your knocked up
one too many and you could kill someone
I'm not sure if i should move on and let you figure it out on your own,
or remain faithful
but your not the friend i once had,
she gone and someone new is in her place
you lost your faith,
you lost your stand,
you lost your grip
one day it's going to kill you and i'm not going to forgive myself
but how can i be help responsible when i tried to convince you to stop,
when it was your hand holding the bottle, not mine
when it was your choice to smoke and get high
when it's your hand holding the razor doing the damage
you expect too much of me,
what will you do when i'm gone with my guitar in hand,
i can't hold your hair for you or take you to the hospital
what will you do when your child is born to druggies and has a problem,
and you call your best-friend and your child's "auntie" for help,
i won't be there,
i can't be there, i can't drive three hundred miles to take care of you
you always thought i was going to be the one to get messed up,
but i'm no longer the girl under the influence of others,
i can stand on my own,
but you can't stand on your own
what are you going to do when he found a new girl to be his yuppie,
i know what you'll do,
you'll turn to your trusty blade and expect me to clean up the mess
i tried with my whole heart to get your out of that mess, but i couldn't,
it was too much for me to handle
you better keep your eye on who got you into this,
or she will be feeling the pain you put me through,
the pain you put through all of your friends
i have an ever growing hate for that girl,
if you die, she will die by my hands
you know me, you know i won't let you get hurt
but you pushed me away,
and still screamed for me to stay,
i was only trying to help
you don't know how bad you hurt me by saying you were leaving
in a way i'm deserting you,
your not the best for me to be around anymore
it's bad enough i'm already living in Hell,
but your making me walk through the fiery flames,
it's killing me, and i can't deal with this kind of hurt
i don't want to attend your funeral,
i want you stay here with the Musketeers,
not in a grave
but your my friend, my best-friend
i pray day and night for you to make the right choice,
but so far your have let me down,
please prove me wrong