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Some of you, once you read the title, probaly were all like, "WTF!!" While some of you may agree with me. And the rest of you probably don't give a s**t. For those last people: I don't give a s**t about you either.

Anyways, back to the subject. I have been raised in a strict mormon family. No dating until I'm 16 (sucks), no sex before marriage (sucks), the basic goody-goody life (sucks major a**). And after a while, I was simply ******** tired of that s**t. So, I decided that I would be an atheist in secret (secret to my family and mormon friends, at least). Since then, I've made a drastic change from goody-goody mormon to a damned, ******** pervert. And I'm alright with that.

Here's the part that sucks: Since I'm keeping it secret from some, I still attend the mormon church, listen to what's being taught, and act like I was still a goody-goody mormon. So far, the act has been working. But I am tired of acting. I am tired of hiding who I really am from my family. But I think that if I told them, then things could get really awkward, or be worse than they are now. I've been doing this for almost a year now, so I'm used to it.

So anyways, I usually get rid of my stress by alot of jacking off, joking with friends, and all that. And so far, it's been working. Mostly. But still, sometimes, I don't like having to hide it, having to keep who I am concealed within me half the time.

Another thing I hate about it is that due to the sheltering and upbringing I had, I am now quite the shy individual some of the time. I find it hard to approach anyone at all. While I find it easy to open up to anyone after a while, it still isn't easy. But I'm getting over that as well.

I really don't know why I'm doing this. I think I have it completely under control. Maybe it's just that my inner nature is yelling at me to be let out. And maybe this is the way that I do that. I don't know.