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They fight, they feud, they gnash teeth and rend flesh. Month ago, when I thought my problems had come to a head, I imagined they would be gone from my life. I had imagined those that had problems with me has found their way to be rid of me, and that I was allowed that much-needed respite from their antics.
Ho, no. This life of my own is plagued with animosity from people who aren't even worth the calories I expend typing this. Sure, I've seen the good in each of them, but it is grossly-overruled by the blatant disregard for common courtesy. I can't help but smile when I see two of my old friends frolicking together. When I said months back that I just wanted to see them happy, I meant it. I got to see it --- I saw them both happier than I had seen them when I was a major part of their lives. I prefer it this way, becuase I don't have to put up with so much s**t, and they can laugh freely. Good, perfect.
Why do they intrude in my affairs, then? Why do they attack those closest to me? Why do they have to make me want to bend fingers the wrong way? xd
Oh well.
I hate seeing Jen unhappy. It chills me to the core; it sends me into a rage that probably isn't very healthy. I want to remove her from it --- carry her away to a far away land... called ScatLand. Erm, sorry. Scatman John popped into my head there.
The point is, Jen didn't do anything to deserve this strife. Me, maybe. She is simply a victim of circumstance.
I've discovered over the months that I have more in me than I previously allowed for. I spent years suppressing any talent I held, and playing second chair to, well, her. Foolishness on my part, I know. Everyone knows. But now, after looking at the situation with unobstructed vision, I see what I was tearing myself down to. That was a lot of tearing down.
Oh well. I had fun with my last calculus quiz. It rocked socks, and junk. This paper, however, is proving boring and a half!
I want to see Jen again. I'm not positive this addiction is good for my studies, but it sure does feel good. :3
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I'll be back in WoW again, along with my FFXI playing. I'm eagerly awaiting Anime Punch. It'll be nice to hang out with everyone again. And, eh, stay at a hotel. I love staying at hotels. biggrin
 Ezeinandout · Sun Feb 25, 2007 @ 04:57pm · 0 Comments |
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