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ALL CREDIT GIVEN TO UNCYCLOPEDIA.ORG!!! XDD
Lord Sora is the current ruler of Kingdom Hearts. He somehow managed to get this title, even though he is only 15 years old. He is living the dream, and gets to play with his favourite cartoon characters from Disney.
Beginnings
Sora lived on Destiny Islands with Riku and Kairi until there was an oil leak offshore. It covered the island in darkness, seals were getting killed. To escape Riku jumped into the oil, Sora went through a "magical" door and Kairi being too stupid stayed on the Island. Sora battled figments of his imagination with his reject sidekicks, Goofy and Donald found at the local YMCA. They would participate in many things including:
=Fighting =Casting "Magic" =Healing Donald, over and over and over again =Pwning Noobs =Making really gay smiles towards the camera that follows them around =Trying to find a hoe called Kairi =Chess Tournaments =Speaking in Tounges =Cleaning up litter =Yelling profanities that sound like "Thank You" but known to be others.
The New New Age (1989-2006)
Sora in his effort to clean up the litter left by Disneyland Tourists, the Mickey Mouse League promoted Sora from cleaner to the Ruler of Kingdom Hearts. Goofy and Donald remained his loyal bitches... I mean, lackies.
Timeline of Sora's Reign
Main Article:Kingdom Hearts
1986 biggrin estiny Islands were accepted into Kingdom Hearts. 1993:The Great Heartless Raid 1994:Sora, Riku and Donald destroyed Ancient Rome 1999:Organization XIII is founded 2000:The Great War between Kingdom Hearts and Kingdom Brains 2003:Age of 13 Assasination Attempts 2005:The Nobody War 2006:The Invasion 2012:Another Sequel
Assault and Rape
Lately, Sora has brought Shadow The Hedgehog into court. The latter was charged with mugging Sora and raping him. Luckily for Oscar Wilde, the two were declared legally f***ed up, and the jury killed themselves in a mass suicide to escape the pain of the trial. Custody of Shadow and Sora's child has not yet been appointed, but luckily for the s**t-faced hybrid, Kairi thinks it's her's.
Sexual Relationships
Sora has had sex with Riku, Emo Riku, Riku's clone, Roxas, Axel, Xigbar, Namine, Mansex, Xemnas, Anti-Sora, Sephiroth, Leon, Cloud, Axel's corpse, Marluxia, Zexion, Vexen, Lexeaus, Larxene, Demyx, Saix, Xaldin, and Yugi ER...Luxord. Sora has recently contracted an STD but his life partner Riku is equally whoreish so Nobody cares. They are now living together in their mansion in The World that Never Was. Also: Namine and Kairi got some with Sora because they raped him while he was asleep for a year.
Dulcet Schism · Sun Mar 04, 2007 @ 02:32am · 1 Comments |
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