Dad leaves for work at 6:30, mom got so drunk she didn't get up to get us off to school. I had to put my 2 monster siblings on the bus and I ended up missing my bus. Mom still isn't up yet, she's going to scream at me when she gets up. But what was I suppose to do? Just forget about my brother and sister and just go to school? I'm just glad there out of diapers and toilet trained, I hate changing diapers. I've been more of a mom to these kids than she has and I'm tired of it.
Last night she was lovey drunk, I guess its better than being a mean drunk. She was slurring her words and telling me how much I remind her of herself at this age, that she loves me and is so proud of me. Why can't she say that when shes sober? when shes drunk it just doesn't seem to mean anything to me, its all just booze talking. alcoholism is a disease, and unless the "sick" person wants to get help, theres nothing you can do. My real father left because of her drinking, he told her if she didn't quit he would leave, and she wouldn't even quit to keep her family together. all she cares about is where her next drink is coming from.
I talked to my gram last night, and I asked her why my real dad doesn't call anymore. She said he does call but mom hangs up on him. He's also sent b-day cards with money, but I never got them. I now have his phone number and address, I'm wondering if I should call him. But what do I say? I want to scream " take me away from this hell hole!" but I'm not sure I want to live with him either. Besides, if I leave my bro and sis wouldn't have a chance.
Well I'm going to do more bumping, I need enough gold to buy some shoes!
Hope all is well with all of you smile
 sunshinegal · Thu Mar 10, 2005 @ 03:12pm · 2 Comments |
