i hate myself its not my fault people say but how isn't it my fault i must have done something to put a spin on the events. i don't want to go home is that bad i would rather be with people who care im sure my parents care however they have a streange way of showing it .
sometimes i worry that my boyfriend doesn't care but then he shows me he does and i get confused i want to help him as much as i can but noone will let me do that i feel like crying when im around him sometimes cause i worry im doing something wrong.
I worry everyday bout pushing people away that he will leave me. that i will die form being alone im sure no one really wants to leave me but i think that sometimes.
i love my boyfriend very much i only want the best for him i want him to have a good life wiether or not im in it.
I don't know what the future holds i could die tomorrow i just hope im happy when i die
I am in love with the earth i feel very connected to it so when i die i want to be cremated and put into a lava flow like in hawihai so i may be part of the world forever.
sometimes i wish i werent living anymore see how the world would coupe without me it would be fine people would greeve and then they would forget bout me just like when i was alive so it doesnt really matter weither or not im alive.
last night i went to sleep hoping and preying to god i wouldn't wake up my wish wasn't granted to bad.
i think anyone can relate to how im feeling
well i hope
 PanthersRUs · Wed Mar 16, 2005 @ 07:29pm · 0 Comments |
