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i jUst hAd my first interview for a job last tues. and up to now the company hasn't called yet... i'm beginning to think that maybe i wouldn't get the job... crying crying if that is the truth then i'm going to get so sad... i mean, it's my dream job... to be able to write and at the same time organize events... i mean, where in the world can you find a job that you really love and that you're just more than willing to sacrifice rest, sleep and sanity???!!! i mean, i REALLY, REALLY, REALLY WANT TO GET THAT JOB! i've been able to train myself in that kind of life when i was in college because i wanted so much to be a part of that world... a world full of writers wherein i know, i would fit to a T... i mean, i'm not that a great writer but writing is something which i love... it's what keeps me breathing... it's what keeps me sane......
and for me to not be able to pursue a job in that field, well, it doesn't really mean death but just a sign.. a sign that may be i should give up on it... may be i'm just not cut out for this kind of world... but if so, then where do i belong? all my life all i've ever known was writing... and even though my college life has opened new and promising careers for me, it's writing that i always go back to... when i'm writing i feel like i know myself.. it's as if i know where my life is leading me and what really bothers me.. and just thinking about the possibility that may be this is not the world i'm supposed to fit into... well... it's just a little hard to accept... i'm really scared about what the future will hold for me... and i can do is TRUST GOD... but sometimes even that belief cannot calm my agitated self... i mean, writing is my life and taking that away from me is like taking my family and friends away from me.. life wouldn't really be life at all... sigh... i really hope that company calls me because i don't know what to do if they don't.... crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying emo emo emo emo emo

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