"I know there's one country in the world that doesn’t have some horrible weapon of mass destruction they don’t have some horrible weapons lab in the mountains ....Jamaica. They would never make an Atomic Bomb; they may make an Atomic Bong. But I'd rather fight a war with an Atomic Bong. Cuz when the Atomic Bomb goes off there's devastation and radiation. When the Atomic Bong goes off there's celebration!"
--Robin Williams
"Then there's the luge, for which I have only one question: What drunken, German gynecologist invented that sport? What guy said: You know what? I want to dress like a sperm, shove an ice skate in my a**, and go balls first down an ice chute. Ja, that would be fun!"
-- Robin Williams (once again)
One time I was watching a shootout live on CNN, and it went on for so long that eventually the criminal shot himself. And the cops are complaining by saying, "He's got on body armor, he's got on body armor!" And I'm thinking, "I can see his head! Shoot him in his ********' head!"
--Ron White
I'll add more when I get around to it, i'm a lazy a** stare
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