you know guys...i was thinkin' to myself today....and i thought....whatever happend to my dad? i never met the guy, i only dream of what life would have been like if i was with my dad.then again, i might just be in the same position as i am in now.i mean, my moms a b***h, he probably would of divorced with her a** a long time ago.but maybe there would have been some luck where he would take me with him.but thats all a dream, maybe he was just as much as a b***h as mother is.all mom does is drink and smoke on the couch, and if she passes out, i have to move her to her bed because if she wakes up on the couch or floor, then shes going to hit me as hard as she can with a broken beer bottle.yup, thats my life for ya.so today, i got the courage to face mother and asked her what ever happened to dad.and ya know what she told me?.......
......"Forget about your father.I hate him.Im glad he died"
Thats it? I thought to myself and walked away so i dont make matters worse so she wouldnt hit me.I walked off with no results...all i learned was that he died...but how?
so i went to my room and started reading "Gone With The Wind" and found my brother banging at my door because he was hungry {mom never cleans or feeds us. we have to do it our own..and seeing as my brother doesnt know how to cook...well..i'm the only person left top do the job}
i treat my brother with respect, and try to let him have the best life possible out of this hell that we call "home"....and as i cooked for him...he tells me..."i wish rhett was here...then i can have someone to play video games with!" and thats when i broke down and cried on the floor....i miss rhett...he was my one and only...so my brother comes to me..and covers my mouth...he says "Please dont cry....momma will hit you if you do...." so i tried sucking it up...and hugged him as tightly as i could.I realized...then and there...that i dont ever want to die..not as long as my brother is here...yeah he can be really annoying sometimes..but i dont want him to suffer..and have to live with mom by himself...he needs me...and i need him...no matter what.i picked myself up and walked to the living room and found my mother asleep.i took the keys and walked into my room.i rushed back to Alex and grabbed his hand "want some McDonalds?" he smiled and nodded.so we quickly rushed out the door and walked off.
this was his first time ever actually leaving the house.He's home schooled....who teaches him? me. i actually go to school and find time to teach him..of course...i tell him to be quiet and stay in his room so he can avoid mom and all the men she brings home to have sex with on the couch or her room.i've walked in on them before...its quite disturbing..and she threw her cigarette at me and told me to make myself useful and pick up their clothes and wash them.i'm a tool to her and her various sexual companions/toys.
well.i guess i'll stop here...if you have any questions or comments about my life and you want to tell me.PM me or just drop off a comment, i dont mind.
Community Member
I'm glad you decided to stay alive as much as you can.
I'm also impressed that you'd decided to keep living because dead isn't all that it's worth. I believe it's not someone's death that matters but what they did with their life. maybe you and your brother can be happy for once.
Oddly enought i've met too many people who's raither die then to stay alive...i've always been stronger than death. My life hasn't been a piece of cake either but i'm alive(with many still bleeding scars but still alive).
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but one small question comes to mind "how does she(you) get money?"...maybe you can answer that for me.