As answered by elementary school students)
How Do You Decide Who To Marry?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
- Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going
to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who
you're stuck with.
- Kirsten, age 10
What is the Right Age To Get Married?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person
FOREVER by then.
- Camille, age 10
No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get
married.
- Freddie, age 6
How Can A Stranger Tell If Two People Are Married?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be
yelling at the same kids.
- Derrick, age 8
What Do Your Think Your Mom and Dad Have In Common?
Both don't want any more kids.
- Lori, age 8
What Do Most People Do On A Date?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to
know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
- Lynnette, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that
usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
- Martin, age 10
What Would You Do On A First Date That Was Turning Sour?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the
newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
- Craig, age 9
When Is It Okay To Kiss Someone?
When they're rich.
- Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to
mess with that.
- Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should
marry them & have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- Howard, age 8
Is It Better To Be Single or Married?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need
someone to clean up after them.
- Anita, age 9
How Would The World Be Different If People Didn't Get Married?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
- Kelvin, age 8
How Would You Make a Marriage Work?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a
truck.
- Ricky, age 10
------------------
It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following. Please join me in remembering a great icon. The Pillsbury Dough boy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was only 51. Dough boy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay there
Respects, including Mrs. Butter worth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins,
Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch.
The gravesite was piled high with flours, as long-time friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Dough boy rose quickly in show business but his later life was
Filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he even still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end it was thought that he would rise again, but alas, he was no tart.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his
Elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes
-------------------------------------------
dont tell me that the skys the limit, when there's footprints on the moon.
----------------
there is a young girl in sunday school and her teacher wants to ask her 3 questions
1. her teacher asked her "who created the earth we live on"
a boy pokes with a pencil and she yells "god almighty". the teachers says "thats right"
the next question that the teacher asks her who died on the cross for our sins? the boy pokes her again and she yell "jesus christ". her teacher says "that right"
3. the last question is. "What did eve says to adam when they were makin babies. the boy pokes her agian and she yells "i swear to god if u poke me with that thing one more time i will break it in half"
-------------------------------------------
hes teaching me arithmetic
he said it was his mission
he kissed me once
he kissed me twice
and said now thats addition
and as he added kiss by kiss in silent satisfaction
i sweety gave the kisses bac
and said now dats subtraction
then he kissed me
i kissed him without explaination
and both of us smiled
and sed thats multiplication
then my dad comes on the scene
and made a quick decision
he kicked him three blocks away
and said thats long divison
--------------------------------
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When i get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him?"
------------------------------------------------
There once was a bear& a rabbit that hated each other. One day they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each 3 wishes.The bear went first and he said,"I wish to be the only male bear in this forrest." And he got his wish.
The rabbit said, "I want a motorcycle helmet." And he got his wish.
The bear went up and said, "I wish to be the only male bear in the U.S. and all the rest were female." And he got his wish.
The rabbit said, "I wish I had a motorcycle to go w/ that helmet." And he got his wish.
The bear said, "I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females." And he got his wish.
Then It was the rabbit's turn, and he said, "I wish that bear was gay."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
friends help you up when you fall, but best friends laugh and say "Walk much dumbass?"
-----------------
How Do You Decide Who To Marry?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
- Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going
to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who
you're stuck with.
- Kirsten, age 10
What is the Right Age To Get Married?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person
FOREVER by then.
- Camille, age 10
No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get
married.
- Freddie, age 6
How Can A Stranger Tell If Two People Are Married?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be
yelling at the same kids.
- Derrick, age 8
What Do Your Think Your Mom and Dad Have In Common?
Both don't want any more kids.
- Lori, age 8
What Do Most People Do On A Date?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to
know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
- Lynnette, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that
usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
- Martin, age 10
What Would You Do On A First Date That Was Turning Sour?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the
newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
- Craig, age 9
When Is It Okay To Kiss Someone?
When they're rich.
- Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to
mess with that.
- Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should
marry them & have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- Howard, age 8
Is It Better To Be Single or Married?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need
someone to clean up after them.
- Anita, age 9
How Would The World Be Different If People Didn't Get Married?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
- Kelvin, age 8
How Would You Make a Marriage Work?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a
truck.
- Ricky, age 10
------------------
It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following. Please join me in remembering a great icon. The Pillsbury Dough boy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was only 51. Dough boy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay there
Respects, including Mrs. Butter worth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins,
Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch.
The gravesite was piled high with flours, as long-time friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Dough boy rose quickly in show business but his later life was
Filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he even still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end it was thought that he would rise again, but alas, he was no tart.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his
Elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes
-------------------------------------------
dont tell me that the skys the limit, when there's footprints on the moon.
----------------
there is a young girl in sunday school and her teacher wants to ask her 3 questions
1. her teacher asked her "who created the earth we live on"
a boy pokes with a pencil and she yells "god almighty". the teachers says "thats right"
the next question that the teacher asks her who died on the cross for our sins? the boy pokes her again and she yell "jesus christ". her teacher says "that right"
3. the last question is. "What did eve says to adam when they were makin babies. the boy pokes her agian and she yells "i swear to god if u poke me with that thing one more time i will break it in half"
-------------------------------------------
hes teaching me arithmetic
he said it was his mission
he kissed me once
he kissed me twice
and said now thats addition
and as he added kiss by kiss in silent satisfaction
i sweety gave the kisses bac
and said now dats subtraction
then he kissed me
i kissed him without explaination
and both of us smiled
and sed thats multiplication
then my dad comes on the scene
and made a quick decision
he kicked him three blocks away
and said thats long divison
--------------------------------
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When i get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him?"
------------------------------------------------
There once was a bear& a rabbit that hated each other. One day they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each 3 wishes.The bear went first and he said,"I wish to be the only male bear in this forrest." And he got his wish.
The rabbit said, "I want a motorcycle helmet." And he got his wish.
The bear went up and said, "I wish to be the only male bear in the U.S. and all the rest were female." And he got his wish.
The rabbit said, "I wish I had a motorcycle to go w/ that helmet." And he got his wish.
The bear said, "I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females." And he got his wish.
Then It was the rabbit's turn, and he said, "I wish that bear was gay."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
friends help you up when you fall, but best friends laugh and say "Walk much dumbass?"
-----------------
