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It seems everyone is hooking up or falling in love in spring surprised
Awesome I guess, it happens?
The panther feels better enough to be here today ^^ plus no working, yay!
 ~x.X~Panther~X.x~ · Sun Apr 22, 2007 @ 12:11am · 1 Comments |
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I'm not going to be around until I recover from being sick.
It feels awful, stomach virus is evil!
To all my friends I wish them all to take care and I miss you :[
I'll return hopefully this new week if I recover ^^ . See you all soon
The Panther surprised cry Tummy hurt
~x.X~Panther~X.x~ · Sat Apr 21, 2007 @ 11:12am · 0 Comments |
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I love to make people smile
It's so valuable to me
I hold friendships near me because
if I don' they can let go and float away from reach.....
But as the day seems so gloomy in a way it really isn't...
Today was beautiful in so many ways, the skiy when the rain cleared a bit.... it was just like as if the fighting was over... it was more like a beautiful woman cried her heart out in the sky and grew tired of crying and finally calmed down. It was a heartbreak that realized it's path and stops as eventually all people do.
I can interpret the weather in many ways but to say the least it was just beautiful.... All disasters could be in thier own way.
Didn't sleep but I don't mind and now it's impossible....
Just finished fighting with my brother but I don't hate him nor am I upset because I find it sad how he's acting as if I'm the enemy... He'll catch on someday soon I believe.
I still haven't gotten around to finishing my projects and I'll have enough time but I worry.
had pizza today and it burnt me a little. I have nothing to say but I'm just still around or trying to be...
~x.X~Panther~X.x~ · Tue Apr 17, 2007 @ 12:22am · 0 Comments |
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I stayed up late on the pc till early this morning and I had a friend over. I was thinking over many things actually.... I know why many girls act certain ways with that I was told it makes it clearer but it took another female to tell me everything for me to believe it. but it was a lot to listen to, I didn't mind but I just respect women much more.
Nothing is new but soon I'm off and vacation will be here.
My brother is still being as evil as ever...... I don't know any sites to upload my song but I will someday I guess I'll be too busy this week again.
Yeah... I took down my picture. Why should anyone care what I look like? ^^ Surely theres the reason of only assuring I'm not a bot I guess...
~x.X~Panther~X.x~ · Sun Apr 15, 2007 @ 07:18am · 0 Comments |
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Someday when the sun shines again.... |
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Listening to Saliva- Always, and eating tomatoes now, I don't know why..... Listening to a big mixture and drawing a bit....
Feeling bored with the Homework so I decided to write. Nothing is new really...
I guess I could take a quiz and post it here later
~x.X~Panther~X.x~ · Sun Mar 25, 2007 @ 06:23am · 0 Comments |
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Missing her was the hardest part
I missed her so, but I was to shy to show any interest
It hurts, she's not mine... What to do a man with a soul that calls out now a foriegn name?
Hope the life she chose is happy...
I don't know how to move on
It's quite difficult, I'm still in the past romance and I don't see the future or now
It's like being in a dream and it's a rewind of my heart breaking, not even becoming complete and shattering over and over....
If I call her name it's not me she'd see but me for what I am, just another guy.
I wish i meant more to her, I wondered if she thought about me and Now I'm too afrias to even message and ask... to even ask how she's doing.
It's not like I expect her to run back to my arms, I don't know what I expect. These weeks have been hard and I stated another semester, two jobs..... Saving it all and perhaps maybe I'll need it in the future... I just want love, back to me and I don't know why I want only her and no one else.
I guess I'm better off leaving her alone but It feels so sad, I wanted some one but I can't have her... I hear I can wait to find romance but maybe I need to find another love? Thats like dating some one and only thinking of a diff person, it's wrong. And it's wrong to want a now taken woman, who am I to pursuit?
Then I guess it's time for me to make the first step in moving on.... or I can continue to wait... Either way it hurts..... Writing down how I feel to no one makes it better to know I'm not lieing to myself. I think I know what to do....
Parts of a song:
Remember all the times that we used to play
You were lost and i would save you
I don't think those feeling will ever fade
You born a part of me
Don't take her smile away from me
She's broken and I'm far away
If you made the world a stage for me
Then i hope that you could hear me scream
Can you hear me scream
Can you hear me scream
can't take this anymore
I can't take this anymore
Won't you take and give her pain to me
Cause my whole life I've made mistakes
And from another song but a full song :
if the wind could bring the rain
i would save it all for you
make an ocean to sail away and begin again
they said i could never change
that i cant belong to you
than i watched you sip away in the oceans arms
i'll never get you back.
its like fallin down a wave,
fallin down a wave
if a star could light the way
that could take me back to you
and the rain could wash away
everything ive done
only melody remains
so i sing my song to you
as i watched you slip away in the oceans arms
i will never get you back
I just feel hopeless but yet I can move on, distance never works for me so well...
All the girls over here as alike as apples... none differ much but in color or tastes etc. None are special to catch my eye, none have the soul I look for and want something more lasting than a week to spend all my cash. Where exists a beauty, is always far away out of my reach.
I'm done writing, didn't meant o make this so depressing it actually hurts again. Losing some one twice is not my idea of happiness and for those who have that some one hold her close, don't stop complimenting and loving her because she can change how she feels and think you don't feel the same... stay faithful to her to show she's the only one you need, and sometimes need her because a man with a ego too huge won't rise as high as a man with a supporting woman.
~x.X~Panther~X.x~ · Thu Jan 25, 2007 @ 10:22pm · 3 Comments |
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I will keep in heart all that I feel
Keep it in.. full and tightly.. secured and wrapped
I thought I could have it.. but luck shows me otherwise.....
Why? Why did I suffer how I did to be okay and happy now?
From when I became broken and torn
I got confused and lost
Something unresolved... something unresolved...
Closure was never there and now it's back....
I like the sunshine, with it's beautiful smiles
But where am I? what is it I need?
I've been indulged in heart... A growing greed.
Love is enough for everything
But maybe I hold onto things far too much....
I want a star I can admire
From over here I see you shine still
From over here you are high and far
Away from danger.....
The moon is my goddess
Strange how she complicates everything
And yet I love, even when in reflection.....
Forever in my soul....
I want to grab the star that illuminates so far
From over here I see her, I want to close my eyes and see her here
Harder and harder it becomes....
I just want a loving hug... anything
Your words are like a melody
Your own, your right and your story
Since when did I ever stop listening?
I sit and wait... for any answer
I only have you and I in a reflection...
looking up at you alone...
And now I understand why
It's only the reflection, my dream has to become a reality
I'm glad the light reaches me
because in mornings I don't see you
Although you are there....
I can look up and always find you...
Like as if only I memorized the location inside my heart....
It hurts too
To breathe and stand for so long
To wish, and You would never fall
Maybe if I can grow wings I can reach you.....
But who is she? The goddess....
How do I know her?
She is the love in my heart....
People will find thiers someday...
Like I have, only I see what has to be done....
I fell from the sky
To only admire you from down here
I can only bow and praise
Because if you ever fall.. I will catch you
Place you back on the sky.
I'll finish this another time......
~x.X~Panther~X.x~ · Wed Aug 23, 2006 @ 07:38pm · 1 Comments |
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I've lost my love and lost the ability to breathe
But still I move without regard for feelings
I still have a heart, that yearns for it's partner
Still have a heart that's lost with a love that lingers
And with my last words of such a dying breath
Will I say I loved and loved well
I loved and loved to give
I loved and loved to be....
Unexplainably unhurt by my gift
But tragically dead inside
My gift to still be okay
The gift to still be around... and exist
I thought she was my reason to live
But Now I understand I cannot have her
I'll be fine and move on to forget
Forget the pain that is... I have nothing to regret
I can heal what you cannot see
and forgive, what always forgives me
My heart is pure
I only want to have a some one to love and hold
As my fiance... is what I no longer have....
I thought i wanted to be saved from this drowing sorrow
But today I feel better because I know I'll still be around
A new day, a new reason to trod forward...
I never forget
....... ^^;; I've only got a couple of weeks left, then no more school for me....
But I do have new plans... since my old ones were ruined or rather.. umm... Changed
So I've planned to go visit My cousin or keep working this whole summer....
Good bye for now...
~x.X~Panther~X.x~ · Thu May 04, 2006 @ 09:48pm · 1 Comments |
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I barely come in here and I barely write. Yet I like to read other's journals. I just wanted to make it clear..... I LOVE ASHLEY
And we are engaged. She is my princess, my angel and I love her deeply.
I respect her, and no one will pry her from my heart, no one is like her and no one can ever try to replace her. She means more then the world to me... alot more....
^^ I getting so sentimental... Okay so i owe many poems now....
Claws...
Frightning in the underlight of the moon
Reaching fretfully for something to hold on
I'll pull you back under the darkness
And leave your fear behind your death
To tear my prey with such delight
My claws with blood show me some insight
Of what I'm meant to have to do
But hopefully I will never have it come to you
With my claws I will protect and obey
Leave the enemies corpses just as they lay
To go confort you with a hissing purr
And maybe attack for no more pain....
I just think I can say that I bite 3nodding ^^ Don't upset me.....
And here is one for some one special......
I lust to hold her, talk to her and kiss her
I lust to have her, to need her and want her
In the night I will stalk her shadow
And bring a surprise upon her
Giver her a red rose and kiss her lips
While holding her in my arms, moon eclipse
To hide my face and I leave her there thinking
If that moment of my kiss was real or not....
I'll pass by and push her further in my heart,
Holding her hands and kissing and nuzzling at her throat
Being close to her is so personal,you see
I blush and die to have her always with me
I just ask for a day to show her a way
To govern her heart and smile each day
To know that I love her, as I always will
Nothing will change, Nothing else appeals.....
All I mean is to have her happy.... be her prince charming.. to one day finally smile and kiss her.. propose to her and take her into a bliss.. to share my life and take care of her. To protect and care for her.
Yes I sound like a softy but honestly, I put love first. If there were more guys who were serious then there would be less heartbroken angels.
Shame on the evil guys and those idiots who use girls, who find no values in the roses.... Who cheat on them for a good time. Disgraceful is what they are making us good guys look bad.
BTW-
My wedding is next yr, hopefully in the summer.. then following a few yrs later... is a surprise mrgreen
There is no greater angel love then that of my ashley biggrin
~x.X~Panther~X.x~ · Wed Dec 28, 2005 @ 02:57am · 5 Comments |
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