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i have a blogspot. it has only one entry. i wrote it when i was very confused. i'm always confused.

i'm sad to be leaving, and for all the wrong reasons.

it's when i try to put all the pieces back together that everything just ******** up. i'm sorry. i try not to curse as much. i'm really tired. it's only midnight... but... i don't know. i've realized how messy things can be.

i have to write papers about plays. my life is more than papers. i dont need to write papers.

i'm going to go to school for two years and be happy as s**t. i'm going to design 5-star hotels and restaurants and from time to time a house or two. all the while, i'll be thinking about myself or someone else or music or nonsense. i will use my crazy emotions to guide me in the things that i make.

i have emotions like... a bunny? i'm not sure.

i remember time and time again when things seemed ok. i miss them. the moments. that were complete. sometimes, i think about soft kisses and i flush so i hard i swear that i will faint.

i've never been much of a fainter.

where does it go from here?

to be possessed by aphrodite? oh mythology. so i don't usually pay attention to astrology, but here it goes:

Libra and Gemini are both air signs, and it may be hard for a Libra and a Gemini to keep each other grounded when you're both so busy dreaming and scheming. You both live in a world of ideas and ideals. The attraction between you is more mental than physical, and communication is important to both of you. Your Gemini will stimulate your creativity, and you'll teach him or her how to speak or write with grace. You may find yourself a lifelong playmate, lover and best friend in a Gemini. One thing's for sure, you'll always keep each other young at heart.


lol. i'm weird. but i was BROWSING, and i have two hours before my next class. i couldn't clean up my room because my roommates asleep and i didnt want to wake her up

i've tried typing this entry three times today, hence the title.

i was tryiing to explain things, as in, things that i wanted, things that could happen, explaining that i wasn't asking for the world, just a reason.... but i sent a simple message and that should suffice.


ah... i just don't want to be so hidden. i'm not telling the world. i don't WANT to tell the world. i just want to hear you say what you feel. and then, i want to keep that with me.

sweatdrop emo xd

whew.

i hate school.


so sometimes we spill secrets in an attempt to make the world a little bit better.... but. now i'm stuck more than i was before.

i still think about times when things were just right. ugh. if only good times lasted longer than a nap



i like this iTunes business. sweet fades and s**t. i understand now.

'we're going to a paarty! a birthday party!'


however, i am happy.

wow first entry since april?! what's WRONG with me?

i have to many online journals: xanga, gaia, and now MYSPACE! how do i deal. woot.

i made the best sports hoodie ever. and yes, i have to specifically say sports. but now i smell like crappy a** spray paint and it's making me SICK.

oh, wil and zac. zac is ultra hott, and wil is super adorable. in a good way. aw.


kyle is getting my nerves. as is everyone, a bit.

WHOA

whos been single for exactly ONE year?

in related news, i can't make up my mind on whether or not i want to start up a relationship this close to the end of MY high school career.... hmm. if i where to date any one they'd probably be younger than me... that's a touch irksome. bleh blah blah.

hellllllllo.

i'm just sick of not having someone there. yeah, there was jarred but ew that's gross and what the hell omg he's GROSS. and we've all agreed to that as a nation state so HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR..........

in other news....

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....is such a hassle.......

so i'm not raping or emofying tim.... because the only one who's really getting emo in any way is zac, with his HIM and HER and THEM and NONSENSE. so yeah. i'm not a rapist. i'm just entertaining. and cap't emo is going to have a great unveiling.... he's a drama queen.

GASP

in other news, no one really cares. people aren't as passive as one might think and blah blah blah and people learn that it's not in their best interest and then they forget.

okay so um not much new.

hung out with tim wednesday night. hung out with tim, anna and zach thursday night.

people are dumb. okay. done.

so i asked him to go to the movies with me. sometime. and a group of other people... but i might just move that up to... wednesday night? and then ill um get tabiduh and john to go to. or something.

my msn messenger has really delayed e-mail pop-up rxns.

i make him laugh, and i love that. i like to hear him laugh. at least hes not as shifty. i dont mean that in a bad way.

have you ever felt like there was a connection..... but you don't really want it there? i hate things like that.

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