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Some really interesting joke I found online...
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God... "Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?" "Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy." "Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above. "Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples." "Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you." "What's a 'man,' Lord?" "This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat, and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly aroused, but since you've being complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your... ah, physical needs. He'll be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advise to think properly." "Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. "What's the catch, Lord?" "Yeah, well.... you can have him on one condition." "What's that, Lord?" "As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring...So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first...So, just remember... it's our secret... Woman-to-woman!"
crimson orbs · Sat May 13, 2006 @ 06:50am · 0 Comments |
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Question 1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?
Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.
Question 2: It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates.
Candidate A. Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate B. He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
Candidate C He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.
Which of these candidates would be our choice? Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.
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Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt. Candidate B is Winston Churchill. Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.
And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question: If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.
Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone. Wait till you see the end of this note! Keep reading..
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember: Amateurs...built the ark. Professionals...built the Titanic
And Finally, can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics: * 29 have been accused of spousal abuse * 7 have been arrested for fraud * 19 have been accused of writing bad checks * 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses * 3 have done time for assault * 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit * 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges * 8 have been arrested for shoplifting * 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits * 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year...
Can you guess which organization this is?
Give up yet?
It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.
You gotta pass this on....
crimson orbs · Sun Apr 30, 2006 @ 07:30pm · 0 Comments |
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Restarting with the whole journal stuff |
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I looked over all my old entries. They really suck. Blah. I don't know what I was thinking. So, I deleted them all. MUWAHAHAHAH! ^_____^ Alrightz!! Buh-bye~! biggrin
crimson orbs · Sun Apr 30, 2006 @ 07:25pm · 0 Comments |
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